As we become adults, we claim the pieces of our identity one by one as we decide who we are and what face we want to present to the rest of the world. Many of these pieces come from the environment of our upbringing, such as gender roles, religious beliefs, and political views. We absorb ideas from those around us, subconsciously or otherwise, and our reactions to these ideas shape our concept of ourselves. Other pieces come solely from within, as genetic factors fill in the biological blanks for things such as appearance, sexual orientation, and our general health.
When we embark on a path of spiritual awakening, it involves an unlearning of who we are. Spiritual truth teaches we are much bigger than this form, this life, and this reality. To experience that for ourselves and to transform into something grander, we must let go of who we previously believed our self to be. All of these carefully cultivated labels need to be shed, one by one, like so much dust in the wind.
This is because our true self has absolutely nothing to do with our physical, mental, or emotional bodies. Who are we really? It must be experienced rather than told. To “get there”, we must first clear away all the blockages in the way, obstructing our view. We are the awareness within our core. We are the Observer of everything we experience. This Observer is calm, impassive, and ever-watchful. It is our experience of soul, which is eternal, invincible, and made up of only one thing—love.
A major milestone of spiritual growth comes when we realize we are not our physical being—we are much more than that. Our bodies change as we age, but the truth of who we are does not. When we get sick or hurt, it doesn’t affect our soul. The constancy of our inner adventurer is the thread stringing together the whole of our life.
Likewise, we are not our mental and emotional selves. Our thoughts ARE, but they are something we observe happening. They don’t come from the soul. They are connected to the mind and ego. They have as much to do with our soul as birds that fly past. In similar ways, emotions also “happen” the same way thoughts do. They are experiences we go on, but they are not YOU.
We each have several bodies overlapping one another like the petals of a lotus flower or the layers of an onion. The physical body is overlaid with the emotional body, the mental body, and the pain body. Ram Dass practiced wonderful guided meditation centered on the breath. We can all do this to gain better self-realization, witnessing the various parts of our physical bodies, the movement of our breath, and the passing of our thoughts in order to see that in witnessing these things, it is evidence we are not them.
If we are able to release our attachment to these pieces of our identities that we’ve slowly collected over time, we can get free of them. We remove ourselves from boxes we’ve tried so diligently to shove ourselves inside of, not understanding why we don’t comfortably fit. If we are able to stop limiting ourselves by trying to perform an identity, then anything is possible. No longer are we prisoners of our thoughts or our feelings. Just because a thought or a feeling happens, does not mean we need to listen to it or obey what it wants. We always have the option to ignore these distractions and redirect ourselves back on course.
We’re so much more than our physical selves, which are really just temporary containers getting us from point A to point B. Just like a car, we ride inside them for a while, taking care to keep them in working order (or not!), until we reach our destination and exit the vehicle in a miraculous transformation every one of us will undergo as we venture back home.
The best way to practice detaching from what weighs us down is by observing. Pull back to the core of your awareness and just see what’s happening to or around you. Use all of your senses to pay attention to your now moment—the sounds, sights, smells, feels, and tastes. Then pull back farther to observe yourself engaging in these senses, knowing you are not them, but only the witness to them. Pay attention to your thoughts as if they were birds. Don’t try to catch them, just admire their colors and let them go on their way. If you have an emotional reaction, label it as such. “Oh, look. Anger is happening.” If you’re able to do this, you immediately disempower your emotion because you have established distance from it.
The opposite of this calm, centered state of observing, is reacting. When we see upsetting news, or get cut off in traffic, or read something shocking on social media, or get in a disagreement with someone we know, these all provoke reactions. The reaction is strong, sweeping us away like a wave in the ocean, pulling us underwater. It engulfs all our senses—all awareness. We literally get lost in reaction. Our thoughts swarm, our emotions surge, our skin flushes, our hearts pound, and breath quickens. It takes us over, like being possessed. The energy of the reaction ties us to our bodies, trying to drag us away from our role as the Observer.
This is how lower, denser energy triumphs over higher, lighter energy. We are either the Observer, or the Reactor. Never both. But we have the choice between them, always.
Practice noticing your reactions. That’s the first step! Just notice them.
“Oh, I’m getting upset. Oh look, that feeling… it’s frustration. Frustration is happening.”
It might sound silly, but as soon as you identify what’s happening inside you, you automatically pull back into the Observer role. The reaction is instantly deflated and you can take charge again.
None of us are helpless, in any circumstance. We’re not here on Earth, in these wild lives we’re living, to DO anything other than take the ride and see what happens. We aren’t here to react. We’re here to observe.
Don’t believe me?
Try it! Practice for a few days reacting less, observing more, and see if you don’t feel calmer and steadier.
Lower, denser, negative energies don’t want you to be the Observer, because you’re easy prey when you’re lost in reaction. You’re more easily manipulated when you’re a puppet with strings to yank. Do you want to be someone or something’s puppet? Or do you want to have complete power over your experience? Power through being and observing, not doing.
Happiness is a choice. Peace is a choice.
So is anger and fear.
What will you choose?
Love and blessings, friends.