Okay, real talk: I’ve been avoiding writing this post, because I don’t know how to say this so that you’ll believe me. I’ve only told my husband, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe it either. The more time that passes, the less I understand and the more questions I have.
I don’t know what is happening to me, or why. Sometimes I practice explaining it while going on a long walk alone to clear my head, but I always get to a certain point where I hear myself and can’t fathom thinking this is anything but a weird exercise in writing fiction. But I swear to anyone reading this, this is actually happening. It’s overwhelming to such a degree that I fully believe the stories of people having a psychotic break after their third eye opens.
I saw a story on a message board online of someone who knew someone whose third eye opened, and the guy flew to INDIA and tracked down a guru to beg him to shut it down for him. That’s the only case I’ve seen where anyone had managed to close this door once it’s been opened. So I’m quite serious when I say that once this door is opened, it’s disintegrated. There is no “shutting the door” again, because there is no more door. There is only the new normal.
My Credentials
I’m a normal person. I have no history of mental illness. I was raised as a Catholic in white, middle-class, suburban America. I don’t do drugs or drink alcohol. I don’t even eat meat or drink anything caffeinated.
I’ve been married for 20 years. I have two amazing teenage kids who are straight-A students and have never gotten in serious trouble in their lives. I’ve worked at the same design studio for twenty-one years and am their most valued, relied on employee, by far. I’ve had over twenty stories published, including fifteen novels. I’m a very quiet, reversed person who likes to do crafts and puzzles.
My focus in my spare time has increasingly been on my spiritual growth. This started because I was raised by very flawed, abusive people and desperately wanted to be a better person than them, somehow. It then progressed from there once I realized the spiritual path of healing oneself and understanding existence is the truest path most worthy of our time and energy. It’s the only way to dramatically improve life, to contribute the most effectively to improving the world, and fulfill the core reasons why we were ever born in the first place.
What Happens at Night: Some Basics
Since my third eye opened, every single night—without a single pause or night off—for many months now, the same thing happens. It starts between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. Once it starts, it does not stop until I get out of bed to start my day that morning. It does not stop if I get out of bed to use the bathroom or get some water. It sounds ridiculous, but the spirits who are always around me (who I’ve taken to calling my co-pilots), know when my alarm goes off. That’s when they shut things down, and not a second sooner.
Everything I see at night is with a deep bluish-purple light, and black shadow. I can see these things with my eyes open or shut, but I see the clearest when it’s darkest, with my eyes shut, so I keep an eye mask next to my bed to help me focus sometimes.
When my third eye is completely open and activated, I can see the room I’m in and everything in it with my eyes shut. I can even still see them with the eye mask on and a pillow covering my eyes. If I raise my hand (with eyes shut, eye mask on, AND pillow over my face), I can see my fingers wiggling. I’ve watched my husband get up out of bed and walk around it to stand by his dresser while my eyes are shut, and I’m wearing an eye mask. I’ve seen explanations that this is possible because I’m seeing with my spirit and not my physical eyes, which seems to be accurate.
Note: When this is happening, and I don’t have my eyes covered in some way, just my eyelids closed, I have seen entities standing in the room with me, leaning over the bed and watching me. This was not at all pleasant or fun, as you can possibly imagine. I could ONLY see the entities when my eyes were closed. Yet another reason why I keep the eye mask handy—it helps to block those guys out. All of the other entities I see are NOT in the room with me. I only see them because I’m seeing through The Veil with my third eye.
The Layers
When things get started between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m., it happens after I wake from sleep. Only once have I been lying awake with insomnia and “seen” it start on its own. I don’t do anything to start it—it’s on autopilot. I’ll surface from a dream to be confronted directly with all of this going on.
Everything I see is on several layers, happening all at the same time. Think of multiple transparent pages placed on top of one another, each with different imagery. I can focus on different layers to bring them into sharper focus.
One layer I can see 24/7. It looks like a swirling mass of billions of stars, which is why I’ve started calling it “the galaxy”. It’s always moving and changing direction, swiveling and shifting. I can change its direction or pause it completely with only my intention and focus. I believe this to be The Veil between dimensions. When entities are coming through, the eye of galaxy is faced directly towards me with an opening in the center.
Another layer is made up of tiny, intricate symbol patterns made of light. Sometimes the symbols move in a repetitious, constant motion. Like with the galaxy, I can control this layer with my intention by focusing. If I want to zoom in on it, or shrink the symbols, I can.
These are the only layers I can control at all (from what I’ve experienced so far).
At the “back” is pure darkness, which feels alive and moving. Sometimes it seems to be folding in on itself, or twisting, or just moving in a lot of intricate, complex ways.
Behind the symbol layer is where I see entities appear. They are stubborn and tend to only leave when I fall asleep again. Sometimes they stay all night long. I’m not going to try to explain them in this post, but 98% of them are non-human, and I don’t mean that they’re animals. Most human entities I see are negative ones (so I do actually prefer the non-human guys). With any of the entities, sometimes I just see a couple of features of their face, or only their eyes.
A lot of times, the entities will send me visions to “introduce themselves”. These take over my entire field of vision and play like little movie clips. They’ll play through clearly once, and then repeat, but the repeats will be twisted and blurred. Most of the humans I see are the ones featured in visions which I’m assuming are like messages or stories. Sometimes the visions have other colors, which is always exciting.
After the vision plays, sometimes I’ll see another layer I refer to as the Watchers. These look like shadow figures. I see them only as silhouettes that move and interact with each other.
No Control
I don’t have any sort of control over any of that, really. I have literally tried everything. I can interrupt the visions by opening my eyes for a few seconds. I do this a lot if I’m unsure whether the vision is from a negative being. It is really hard to tell the intention of these entities because I’m only using my sense of sight here. There is no sound, or any energetic signature of “nice” or “angry”.
Some look obviously negative. They have “horror faces”, which is basically like if you asked a four-year-old to draw a scary face. The negative humans will usually be making screaming faces. A lot of the others try to look harmless, but then will try to harm me by draining my energy later, which does cause physical pain.
Asking for Help
At first, I hated to ask for help. I read that you could ask the angels, and specifically Archangel Michael, for help with removing negative spirits. (Disclaimer, I KNOW how crazy this sounds, trust me!) It worked every single time. I would literally see angels appear (glowing, wings, flowing robes, etc.—exactly how you’d expect them to look) and remove the negative spirit. The angels would then stay with me for the rest of the morning, for hours, until I got out of bed. They appeared in white or blue light, flying past in the darkness, or looking down from clouds where The Veil has parted.
That’s when I started to feel like I was inconveniencing actual celestial beings. I’d have massive amounts of guilt afterward, so for a few weeks I tried to just suffer through the negative entities.
Now I have a new tactic. I ask for the help of my guides and any nearby angels as part of my prayers before bed. I am very, very thankful for them. I ask them to shield me from any negative entity so I can rest.
And they do! They do it without me having to figure out who is bad and who is benevolent. I have learned that if there is an angelic presence protecting me, I’ll see it as a blue, soft light at the edges of my vision, and the entity in question will be pushed way back into the darkness. I can see it there, but it can’t hurt me.
Strangely, the angels tend to leave around dawn, so then my guides will take over and physically put themselves between me and the entity in question.
Their help has quite literally saved my sanity. I am so deeply thankful for their protection. I can sleep now without panicking about what is going to be lurking in the darkness. When I say I tried everything else, I tried EVERYTHING else that anyone at all in the spiritual community suggests to clear negative energy from a space. The negative guys do not listen to me. They don’t care about shielding or sage or crystals. They don’t behave like ghosts because they’re not “here” in my bedroom, they’re on another plane of existence that I can only see because of my third eye.
In Conclusion
It’s been a lot, guys. I started to have a deep, existential dread at the end of every day about what I was going to endure that night. But this has been going on so long now, I have acclimated. I know at the very least that I can handle it. I know I can rely on help being there in some form if I need it.
I have seen so many things. Things you truthfully would not believe. I have woken up to being surrounded by THOUSANDS of beings, standing shoulder to shoulder and watching, waiting for… something. I started this blog to discus concepts and theories. I don’t have any idea what this all is, though, or why it’s happening, especially why it’s happening to me of all people. I have no concepts, and… my theories? I’m not quite ready to share them yet.
What do I know? This is all happening with a lot of intention. My daily meditation sessions have gotten very psychedelic. I’ve become just as aware of my energy body as my physical body. This is all way bigger than me, but effects absolutely everyone. We are all way more protected than we think we are—we have to ASK for the protection! Because of the existence of free will, we NEED TO ASK. They can’t help us otherwise. I find a lot of comfort now, in this powerful evidence of OTHER, because y’all? Humans suck.
For the curious, check out the work of Dolores Cannon and her book on the Three Waves of Volunteers. Google things like: the New Earth, starseeds, the shift, and the Law of One (the Wanderers, the harvest).
So, yeah. Good news, angels are real?
Love and blessings, friends.
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