People keep saying this is going to change things forever. This virus and this lockdown. And I’ll admit it makes me defensive. It causes an automatic negative reaction in me that I’ve been trying to understand. I witness my instinct to argue with them and say it’s not going to change anything. It’s one virus. Just a few weeks stuck at home. But then I remember that life is about change. The only thing we can guarantee for certain is that everything changes. It always will, no matter what. It’s not something to be afraid of, because it’s how our world works, and how we work. There is comfort to be found there.
The stay-at-home orders are creating an environment of forced introspection for not only only area or one country, but the whole planet. That’s huge. So many of us fill our days with busyness to escape the things we’re really here to do, the lessons we’re here to learn. We avoid and distract ourselves to delirium because we’re uncomfortable with self-scrutiny. It scares us. Why? Because we all know, deep-down that the only things that really matter in this life are the things that come from within. Our experience of life is entirely determined by our attitude, our perceptions, our opinions, and our beliefs. Every single one of us could be dropped into the same circumstances and come away with entirely different experiences of it. The biggest determining factor of what our life will be like comes down to one question only—who am I?
The only way we can possibly begin to answer that question is to spend time within ourselves trying to figure it out. This lockdown is giving us that, whether we like it or not! Who we are, why we are who we are, and what it means are the great mysteries of our time. The duration of our existence in these temporary bodies, in this weird point in history of planet Earth, has only one purpose and it’s not to change the world, or become rich and famous, or play the part of the hero in some fictional epic, but only this: to understand ourselves a little better. No matter how hard Hollywood and storybooks try to convince us otherwise, the truth is we are not the hero of our story. We’re the witness. The observer. The student. Your job and my job is to learn.
An ever-changing reality provides unlimited opportunities to learn. Our world right now is getting smaller, simpler, stranger, as our options of what we can do to fill time is limited. This is the universe telling us what’s going on out there doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. The world will turn and the sun will rise whether we’re checking the news or not. Trust it to mind itself and instead turn your focus inward. Examine your daily life, your feelings, and your frustrations. I promise that for each of us in our own ways, our actual puzzle to solve right now is not COVID-19 or the stay-at-home order. Those are just the excuses we’re using to avoid our actual puzzles. We talk about the virus or the ways our routine has changed because of it so we don’t have to look at the tougher stuff.
Total honesty: my puzzle is that I have an instinct to fix people and relationships. When two pieces don’t quite connect I fight and struggle to find some kind of way to make them work anyway. I’ll keep doing this until I go crazy from it. It’s the lesson that has spiraled around and repeated in my life in many shapes and forms, over and over again. That’s the thing I avoid looking at. My real work right now is to let go of the need to make things work the way I think they should, to instead let people be who they are, to let situations and relationships be what they are, and accept that the actions, expectations, and perceptions of those I’m most concerned with fixing actually have nothing at all to do with me. I am. They are. We can be together as we are—just as we are—and witness the beauty of it. We don’t need to change anyone or fix anyone. We are who we are for valid reasons. We’re at different stages of growth and change, and the only way we can get to the next stage is to embrace this one and open ourselves to whatever comes.
Change. That’s what is coming. That’s what is so difficult to allow sometimes. We like to be prepared and have consistency. We love our routines and live by them, but that’s not what’s real. That’s not how it works.
People love to predict what they think will happen, but they don’t know. They can’t. Guessing makes them feel more in control when things get scary. They swear up and down that they’re right and they know how things will play out but those are lies built on fear. The truth is we don’t know. We just have to take the ride. Trust in ourselves and in fate. Have faith that nothing happens accidentally, that every thing big and small is intentional and planned for a perfect outcome. This place is not our home. It’s just where we come to learn. Our time here is limited but for good reason. Our only job is to enjoy the adventure of it all as best we can while it lasts, and embrace the knowing buried deep in our spirits that those controlling everything behind the scenes know what they’re doing and have our very best interests at heart. (Hint: the wizard hiding behind the curtain is YOU, your higher self, a co-creator of this world and your life along with all the rest of us as fractal pieces of the same glorious whole.)
This unusual period of time will change us. All over the world, right in this moment, people have too much time on their hands and not enough distractions to avoid the greatest puzzles of their lives. That means more of us will find the solutions and finally see the truth. Eyes are being opened and mass awakenings are happening. The real work is being done, faster than ever before. Broken relationships will feel undeniably broken. The answer staring us in the face that we try so hard not to see will be glaring brightly. Lies will stand out starkly. Fear will be blatant. So will love, and compassion.
We’re not here to earn money, to devote ourselves to the rat race, to accumulate the shiniest stuff, to compete, to win, to change minds, or to flatter our egos with the attention of others. We’re not here to be afraid of anything and hide ourselves away under blankets. We’re not here to live out the same routine every day for decades until we die. All of the things we’re being prevented from doing right now by these circumstances are things we’re not here to do. That’s part of the lesson.
So what can we do? Help others. Show love and compassion. Make human connections in whatever ways we’re able. Feel gratitude as often and in whatever ways we can. Do the hard inner work and figure out what we’ve been trying not to see. Reach a breaking point and leap bravely into the void. Behold the one thing that’s been driving you crazy the most, say to yourself, “I can’t do this anymore,” and mean it. Then give yourself the freedom to make a different choice. Choose change. It’s not a punishment. There really is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the gift we’ve been waiting for in disguise. There is always a different way to do things, another way to see them. We get so stuck in our ways and that’s what hurts us more than any perceived unfairness imposed upon us from outside. We’re the ones hurting ourselves the most.
So stop. Find a new way. Embrace change and see the wondrous places it takes you.
Love and blessings, friends.