Category: Big Questions

All over our world right now, you will see corruption at work and being exposed in government and really in anyone who’s long been in power. The United States in particular is undergoing what feels like a prolonged, extensive trauma with the 24/7 media cycle spreading the influence of Trump and his enablers. Everywhere I look, I see people feeling anxiety, stress, depression and yearning for escape from the situation in which we find ourselves, politically and culturally.

I feel uniquely qualified to explain some of this, so I’m giving it a shot. I was the scapegoat child a covert malignant narcissist for three and a half decades before permanently ending contact for my own health and sanity. For nearly the entire span of my life, I lived in the same environment in which our entire country finds itself. Trump is also a narcissist (possibly among other things). Narcissists only find comfort in selfishly, cruelly, wielding power and demanding attention.

I strongly recommend the book People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck in trying to understand human evil. The closest thing to evil we will encounter is not Satan or demons but only other humans. When a person’s personality/mind/ego is in direct conflict with its soul and refuses to mesh with its soul, there becomes a disconnect within them. They reject the soul’s loving influence and become totally driven by the fear of the mind. The farther they go down this path, the more minuscule the chance they will be able to change at all during this life.

Narcissists are driven by fear. They crave power over others to boost the ego within that is their driving force, their whole identity. They may have had abusive childhoods, and at some point along the way they did have a choice to fight for themselves or to give in to fear. They chose fear. There is ALWAYS a choice.

The best response to a narcissist is to feel pity and show compassion, as difficult as that may be for us to do. Try to understand that they hate and fear themselves on the deepest levels, that there is absolutely no joy, comfort or contentment in their days. They are incapable of love. They live in a moral darkness from which they will not escape, unless a true miracle occurs. The best response when you realize you’re dealing with a narcissist or with another form of human evil is to disengage. Don’t give them the attention they crave. Refuse to give them power over you. Create space between you and enforce your personal boundaries.

With Trump, who seems inescapable, that means stepping back from the endless news cycle. Ignore him and his circle of enablers as much as you’re able while taking care of YOU in whatever ways you can. Do the best you can with what you’re given. Trump’s choices are his to make and the consequences are his as well. Anything you can’t ignore, any ways his choices directly affect you and the ones you love—take the lesson. Take what you can from it, do your best, keep growing and hold onto hope. You are supported and loved in ways you can’t imagine.

When going through the darkest period of my life, when my hope was lost, I was directly contacted by one of my guides. They showed me all of the love I’d been missing and more. They told me to have faith (I have this message tattooed on the back of my left shoulder as a reminder and tribute). They showed me how the narcissist in my life had been slowly, constantly poisoning me with their influence. Then they showed me how to pull the tendrils of their toxicity out of my being, revealing that the toxicity was solely the narcissist’s—not mine. Without it, I was fine. Whole. Healthy. I held the tendrils of their poison and was encouraged to study it. To understand it.

It was two decades before I truly began to understand this message, but I got it eventually. And I encourage you to learn from it as well. Stop letting others’ toxicity poison you. Look at their behavior and the ways they try to influence you—REALLY look at it—and do your best to understand it with compassion. Find ways to protect yourself, and heal yourself.

Why is this happening now? Why is all of this corruption being exposed at so many levels and in so many places?

Dealing with the narcissist in my life was the biggest lesson I’ve been faced with by far. It’s also the one I’ve learned the most from. It’s made me strong. It’s shown me how important it is to protect myself and care for myself first, above all others. Because if we don’t take care of ourselves—who else will? Boundaries are key. Standing up for what’s right is key. Honesty and connecting through love to all life on earth is what’s most important in building our global community.

This lesson is being enacted worldwide right now. I don’t personally know anyone else who had the childhood I did, and had to deal with what I did. But now everyone, everywhere, is getting a similar lesson in having to deal with Trump. We’re all being encouraged to learn and grow—to awaken—so that we can come together and go from here with love, compassion, hope, and wisdom. We need to learn from this. All of it. And move forward in pursuit of what’s right and good, for the betterment of all mankind.

I’ve seen talk in many places, from many sources, that this all is part of a massive cosmic growth-spurt for our souls. Human life on earth is pushing to evolve to a higher level, vibration or density, where Trump’s form of negativity and low-level energy simply can’t survive. We’re leaving behind those who cling so tightly to fear. We’re having to directly face systemic bigotry, racism, sexism, classism, ableism, greed, and selfishness so that we can leave it behind.

Keep moving forward, friends. Reach out for love and support if you need it. We can do this. You are not alone.

I’m one of those people who always wants to discuss life’s biggest questions – like ‘What is the meaning of life?’ – rather than engage in small talk, but I’ve had trouble finding others like myself. I started this blog to create a space where those questions might be asked, and begin to be answered, in a way that opens the conversation for further consideration rather than giving anything like cut and dried answers. You’re free to disagree with anything and everything I say. We all go through life deciding what feels true and what does not. Keep what works and leave the rest.

Right now, in August of 2018 in my corner of the United States of America, there is a lot of upheaval – politically, environmentally, energetically, socially, etc. It’s a situation that causes stress. I’ve found that answering some of the bigger questions about what we’re all doing here, what our true purpose is, helps to establish a foundation of comfort, strength and peace whenever the news stirs up anxiety. We all need more ways to tap into the deeper truths about our existence in this place to help us endure our hardships with grace and hope.

What are your big questions? The REALLY big ones? The ones you carry like an ember burning in the depths of your heart, sometimes causing pain, other times shining a light? I urge you to pose them either here in the comments on in your life, to someone you care about. Get them out in the open.

After suffering the profound loss of my entire biological family – through both death and estrangement from seemingly endless cycles of abuse – I was unable to NOT dig for answers to my own big questions. Grief creates a wide space, which we can either try to fill with things like alcohol or drugs, or with pure-hearted effort to figure out what the hell is really going on. I did not find the support I wished for when I lost those I love. Unfortunately, I think this is more common than not. It’s hard to face the finality of death. To love someone with your whole heart, to have them woven into your life and then feel them ripped away. It’s a scary enough prospect that friends, family, everyone can get driven away. We don’t want to have to face the tough stuff, as much as it’s good for us to do so.

What’s the meaning of life? From where I stand, it’s to learn. To grow. To exorcise our own demons through trial and error. We see a goal, strive for it, and fall flat on our face. Or we reach it but find it’s too much for us to handle, and not as wonderful as it seemed from afar. No matter the outcome of our striving, it’s the act itself, the effort, that means the most. We are here to do our best, every moment of every day. Just that. Do not feel like you are a failure unless you meet some arbitrary series of goals. Do not assume that success in life is an amount of money in the bank, or a certain number of friends, or the size of your house. Allow yourself the kindness of stopping all comparisons with those around you. You are yourself, and that is a beautiful, complete truth. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. Every aspect of your being, your body, your personality, your dreams, are intentional. You are who you are so that you will face the lessons specifically set out for you by the Universe. All you need to do is take the ride of life and let things come as they may. THAT’S IT.

You are allowed to mess up. We tend to learn the most when we do, actually. We find the most contentment when we embrace exactly who we are – warts and all – and go from there. We come equipped with everything we need in this life, right inside us. The love or power we tend to seek outside of ourselves can always be instantly found within. Love yourself with all of the energy you expend yearning for shining dreams, and you will be better off than you were. Stop trying to attain power from external places, and seek it in your soul. The more we go out into the world looking, searching, scrambling for the answer, the more we realize it was inside us all along.

It is a real tragedy that our society does not create space for us to be steered inward, learning about spirituality and listening to our intuition. There is so much noise around us all the time, so many screens and voices clamoring for attention, that we never stop to hear our own inner voices.

But, they are there. Please, experiment. Find quiet. Listen. Breathe. Meditate. Clear your mind. Ask a few big questions. There will be answers. You will feel guidance steering you to your purpose, and were exactly you are meant to be. Tune out the noise outside of you and just… listen.

You are here for a purpose. Look for it. Feel for it. Your soul wants you to realize it, so stop working against yourself and just let it come in its own time. It will get here faster the less you fight it or fear it. Ignore the distracting noise, and the false promise of money, attention, or external power. Those things will never be your answer.

There’s a lot of pain when we have to let things go, but lean into it. Let it wash through you and leave again. Feel the space the loss leaves in its wake. Use it to heal and grow.

I’ve been searching for places to find respite and calm. I want this blog to be that kind of place for anyone who needs it, so please join me in conversation. If you want to share your questions below, please do. You’re not alone and you are loved – much more than you know.

Have a blessed day.