We are all creatures of habit. We find routines that suit us and get stuck going around and around in them. We’re also encouraged to fill every waking moment with commitments, and when we do have spare time in which to rest, we spend it staring at screens rather than looking within.
This post is directed solely to the givers of the world. The takers, who enjoy letting others pick up their slack, are excused.
Givers can easily get stretched so thin, they snap. Their self-imposed responsibilities pile up until the mountain crashes down around them. Making space is all about recognizing you’re carrying too much, and deciding to do yourself the favor of setting some things down.
Some things we take on are: relationships (friendly, family, and romantic), jobs, goals, hobbies, missions, and habits. One of the best gifts you can give yourself is to stop, scrutinize what you’ve (possibly unwittingly) taken on, and making the effort to recognize what’s making you miserable rather than fulfilling you. Once a cause of misery is identified, take a magnifying glass to whatever excuses justify its existence in your life. Of course, sometimes we need to endure a commitment that satisfies a basic need, even when it makes us miserable. But even in those cases, it’s crucial to be on the lookout for exit ramps. An exit ramp would be an opportunity to divert course in a different, less miserable direction.
Stop wasting your energy on things that don’t serve you. Stop using excuses to prolong unhappiness. Stop filling your moments with empty diversions, noise, and pain. Figure out what’s sucking you dry and detach from it, even just as an experiment.
Make space in your life by letting go of what you no longer need. New, good things can’t enter your life if there isn’t space for them. You’ll never know what you’re missing out on if you don’t allow the chance for change to happen.
Your health benefits greatly when you have space to live and breathe more comfortably, without a mental stockpile of things that “need to be done”. With space, there’s more chance to go out, to move, to relax, and to rediscover what stimulates you. When we stop looking outward, trying to satisfy the expectations of others, we give ourselves permission to look inward instead to better understand who we are, what we really need, and what we most want.
A small thing that is great at beginning to create space is meditation. It provides small amounts of peace and quiet where we can clear mental noise and tune in to our intuition. Deep down, you know what it is you really need, but it’s impossible to hear that voice if the noise from things around you are always drowning it out. A great habit to get into is to meditate for fifteen minutes a day, just to reconnect with yourself and take a time out. The more you get into the practice of stopping to listen and observe your own instincts and emotions, the more aware you’ll be of everything going on around you, and the best way forward.
The toxic people in our lives tend not to like it when we make time for ourselves. The more time you devote to self-care, the less time you’re spending with them. You don’t need anyone’s permission to take care of yourself. No one is ever served by you playing the martyr, killing yourself for the benefit of someone who’s capable of doing more but just chooses not to. There are a lot of people in this world who use those closest to them to sate a need, fill a void, or avoid doing work. Don’t fall for their traps. It’s not beneficial to them or yourself to enable their nonsense. The more loving act is to give them the chance to do their own heavy lifting for a change. They will never progress or find their own happiness until they do.
And sometimes, we keep ourselves busy with things that don’t deserve our time or energy because we’re simply scared or uncomfortable with the idea of venturing into new territory. In these cases, just remember, you’ll never know what you’re missing out on unless you give it a chance. Make space for the impossible, the miraculous, and the wonderful—it’s the only way to invite it into your life.
Have a blessed day, friends.
You must be logged in to post a comment.