The most persistent torment of my life has been loneliness. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. For decades, I believed my worth and happiness was directly tied to how many people showed their love for me. I thought if only I could figure out how to exist correctly, other people would finally want to care about me and my life would improve. Say the right things, act the right ways, and presto! This problem would be solved.
But that’s not how any of this works.
The trap I was stuck in was in believing I wasn’t trying hard enough. That harder work on my part would make my family act in nurturing, empathetic ways. Or would win me closer friends. But we can’t make anyone else do anything they don’t want to do. We can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change. I had to LET GO of my need for others to fill the void of loneliness inside of me.
Where Does Loneliness Come From?
The reason we feel such desperate loneliness is because of where we come from. We originate from the Oneness of creation. This current plane of reality we’re inhabiting as we sit here reading these words on a screen is not our “home”. When in our natural, spirit state, we are constantly connected to all that Is in infinite ways, always. We are linked telepathically and energetically to those we love, and also to the Source of love itself. The isolation we feel in this dense dimension is intentional and short-lived. When we incarnate here, we choose to temporarily forget about Oneness so that we may experience human life and all it entails. This amnesia helps us learn and grow. It’s an adventure we embark on for a little while before going back home again to Oneness.
Loneliness comes from our deeper awareness that we are not in our preferred, natural state of being. We’re homesick. We miss our connections to Love and Spirit.
Loneliness stems from the craving to be seen, understood, and accepted. When we are not surrounded by those who are like us, or see the “real” us, it causes a yearning for this kind of connection. But when life puts us amidst those who are unlike us, there is always a reason. It becomes our job to search out what that is, to find what we’re meant to learn from such circumstances. Isolation forces us to be introspective. It gives us no choice but to question things at a deeper level. To unearth larger truths.
The good news is that you can find ways to rediscover your connection to Spirit to sate the need of connection. But the only way to do that is by going within. Our relationships with other people will never truly “fix” our loneliness. What we’re really craving is a fuller experience of Self. Loneliness is a signpost that our biggest lesson can only be solved within ourselves, and not out there with anyone else. Find ways to love yourself more, to take care of yourself more, and go in search of larger truths. This is the way to overcome the lonely ache. The more you understand the beauty of your Self, and how fully you are loved, always—more profoundly than we can dare to dream—the more you will be able to release this pain.
You Are Never Alone
I mean that literally, by the way. We are always accompanied by a plethora of spirits. We have spirit guides, ancestors, deceased loved ones, and all sorts of higher beings watching over us all the time. They guide us and keep us safe. You may picture them hovering above you in the air somewhere, but the truth is they come through the energy of our soul. It’s our constant link with the other side, and our higher self. All of these beings who love you so very much are actually with you, in the core of your spirit.
They feel your emotions. They hear your thoughts. They see what’s up ahead on your path and are eager to help you in whatever ways they can. All we need to do is ask, and open our hearts to them. If you ask them for a sign they are there, they will provide it.
Psychic mediums help demonstrate how closely our loved ones are tied to us. They are able to sense their spirits with us, and help us relay messages to them and from them. I’ve had several personal experiences with this and always highly recommend seeking out trusted mediums to those who have suffered a loss. Those we love keep watching over us. They are with us in very real ways, and have a lot of opinions about the choices they see us making! Any time we think of them, or speak to them in the privacy of our hearts, they hear it. We just usually have a tough time hearing their replies.
If it wasn’t enough to have this literal team of spirits coming along with us on this road through life, there are also other ways we’re not alone.
Each life we live, every incarnation, creates a distinct persona. They are part of us—the larger “us”, that encompasses all of our experiences in being, from the time when our soul was first formed. Every person we’ve ever been, through countless lifetimes, is also with us, linked to our soul. They’re with us through all of our trials and victories. When we heal deep wounds within our selves, releasing karma and evolving into stronger beings, they are healed along with us. They’re rooting for us. Doing the hard work on your inner self helps many more people than just one.
When we do eventually pass on, something we will all experience is something called a life review. We will re-experience in profound ways every single moment of our life, experiencing things from other points of view so we may understand the impact of our choices on our self and others. We will have the opportunity to delve into the moments to study what we did and why, and how we could have chosen differently. What this means in that right now, you’re being observed by a future version of yourself! And not only that. If you’re currently with any other people, you’re also being observed by future versions of them, too.
Yeah, I know that might seem like a lot of pressure, or make you think that to have so many others observing means they’re all judging you. But remember the world of spirit is one of pure love. They want the best for you. They are coming from a place of total forgiveness and compassion. They’re cheering you on and trying to help you find new ways to succeed in all of your goals. And on a deeper level, they are all you. They are all just different, beautiful facets of the Oneness of creation.
What Does This Mean?
This means I talk to myself a whole lot more now! I’m not kidding. I know they’re with me, so if I need to try and figure something out, I’ll talk through it. Or crack jokes when I’m “alone”. And I find it impossible to take anything too seriously. We each have our very own peanut gallery eating metaphorical popcorn and yelling silly commentary and encouragement that we might not hear and will probably ignore.
It also means you have the whole universe inside you. It means you ARE the universe. You are love. You are truth. You are never, ever alone—in any sense. It’s quite impossible, really. So, laugh at the mind when it tries to scare you into submission. Let love conquer fear. You don’t need to be anything other than your beautiful, weird self. Spend less time and energy reaching outward to feel more connected, and instead try going within. And when your loneliness surfaces and makes you sad, let the sadness move through you as strongly as it wants, and then let it wash away with the tide. In its wake will be all of the eternal love of those who are with you, always.
Love and blessings, friends.
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