Disclaimer: This applies to everything on this blog, but especially this post. These are my personal strategies and opinions. Take or leave as you wish.
Fear comes from Ego, aka the mind. It’s not real. Knowing it’s not real doesn’t always help at all, because it feels real to us, and that’s enough. We must always feel our emotions as they occur—it’s the best way to get past them and keep moving forward—but we must also strive to release them rather than cling. It is a choice we make, whether to hold on or to let go. Give yourself permission to let go. Do yourself that kindness. You deserve it! So, feel your fear, but then try to understand it. Using rationality will set you on the right path to overcoming fear’s mental projections.
1. Realize Nothing Can Hurt You
This is just a single life of many that we’ve experienced. When we die, we will return to our true home, surrounded by an ecstatic love and peace, where we exist as immortal energy beings connected to the Source that we originated from.
I tend to think of life on Earth like a cosmic video game with really awesome graphics, but a tragic lack of a save or pause feature. Right now, we’re in the game. We’re on a mission, determined by our Soul contract. When we die, we’ll return to our home, surrounded by love and our soul group, immersed in happiness and peace beyond imagining. There are not words big enough for this feeling, or how glorious it is.
Therefore, it’s not actually a tragedy to die. We’re better off on the other side than we are on Earth, in countless ways. The school of Earth for Souls is a game set to ‘difficult mode’. When we get to leave, it’s a relief. We get to be done, and to rest.
So, if death isn’t the end, what about the pain of dying? Studying NDEs will show you that when close to death, our Souls can leave the body before it happens. We jump out to avoid the pain we sense coming. We’re still tethered to the body at that point, so we can’t roam far, but we’re spared the pain itself.
And pain that doesn’t result in dying? Yes, we do feel that, but all experiences are a direct result of karma. You may be atoning for negative karma accumulated in this life or past lives. There is no escaping karma. Fighting your karma actually will generate more negative karma. If you experience pain, let it come and let it go. Look for the lesson behind it. I promise you, it’s there, trying to show you something. If you figure out the lesson, you will graduate to the next one and leave the pain behind. Of course, no one wants to be in pain, but we don’t come to Earth to be coddled and shielded. We chose to experience this difficult world in order to evolve and grow. You wouldn’t have signed up for the ‘game’ if you didn’t want to play.
2. Exorcise Your Demons
We incarnate to learn specific lessons. In other words, we are here to exorcise our own demons. The parts of us that need healing are in the spotlight. We’re made to face our flaws head-on, over and over again. There are patterns to it. We circle around these flaws in spiraling ways, the lessons growing more intense and daunting the more we fail to learn them. Eventually, we are all pushed hard enough to the center that we simply can’t avoid learning from our mistakes any longer.
So, identify your demons. Look right at your flaws, and forgive yourself for them. Love yourself for your whole being—flaws and all. See the reasons why you behaved the way you did, and then make different choices toward healthier directions. We always have a choice. You can love yourself to a healthier state. Love ALWAYS conquers fear. Believe in your abilities. Forgive mistakes. Move forward with strength.
3. Focus on You
If your fear involves other people—as in their emotional response or behavior—know that you are not responsible for anyone but yourself. You are not responsible for managing anyone’s feelings or actions. The expression about securing your own oxygen mask before helping others applies in all situations. Do what you need to do for YOU, and then go from there.
4. Let Fate Be Your Driver
I’m a strong believer in fate, and that we’re all here to fulfill Soul contracts, with specific goals for our personal growth and/or ways we can contribute to the greater good. By believing this, it allows us to sit back and take a more relaxed approach to life and its challenges. If something in our path is meant for us, know that we have the needed tools to face it hard-wired into who we are. If something isn’t meant for us, we will manage to avoid it.
One bonus is that if you DO manage to avoid an obstacle you’re dreading, and you ARE meant to face it eventually, it will absolutely come around to you again for another go. Remember, life is a great spiral. Our lessons always repeat until they are properly learned.
5. Facing the Fear
This might seem self-explanatory, but I know first-hand that we all tend to build up our fears in our heads, so that they seem much scarier than they actually are. Sometimes, the only way to get past a fear is to face it head-on and see what we’re really dealing with. It helps us get outside of our imagination and back into what is actual.
I’ve had moments in my life where I had no choice but to face fear. When my brother suddenly passed away from a slip and fall accident, there was a huge part of me that wanted to run from all of the end-of-life things that were happening. I did choose to avoid seeing him face-to-face in the ICU when he’d been declared brain-dead and had a large portion of his skull removed. I was simply too afraid of having that image of him as my final memory.
I was also afraid of facing things like the wake and the funeral itself. There was a lot of family drama around the whole thing, due to ongoing toxic relationships and unfortunate circumstances with his almost-ex-wife. But I was close to him, and wasn’t at all prepared to say goodbye to a healthy 33-year-old who I loved more than words can say. Was I as afraid then as I’ve ever been? Yes. Did I have to face it anyway? Yes! And you know what? I got through it. I got emotional and nothing made sense for a while, but that experience made me strong in ways I could have never predicted. You won’t know how strong you truly are until you lose someone from your primary circle of loved ones—those you interact with nearly every day. My love for him continues, and I send him love constantly. I’m thankful for the experience, even if it meant losing him in the physical world. I know he’s still with me in the ways that matter. And after losing him, nothing really seems so scary anymore.
There are other times when we can get ahead of fear by taking it on quickly rather than letting it linger and fester in our minds. This happens to me a lot, where my dread of something, like having to call someone I don’t want to talk to, threatens to grow way out of proportion. Forcing myself to make the call and get it over with helps me see, quickly, that my imagination doesn’t always match up to reality. It’s worse in my head than in real life. Only experiencing that fact shows it’s true. You’ve got to just take the plunge to know how deep the water truly is.
6. You Are Not Alone
We are always surrounded by our guides/angels/loved-ones. Always. I’ve never had a moment in my life, no matter how bad things got, where I felt truly alone. It’s not something I can really explain—it’s a feeling. When I was being actively abused, I still felt seen and supported by those not physically present. When I gave in to hopelessness, I was shown the way forward. I KNOW we’re not alone, and I’ve been given evidence it’s true. I’ve had spiritual interventions occur when my doubt in myself got carried away. The key is to keep an open heart. Trust the unexplainable and follow your heart’s intuition. If you reach out to those you love, to your faith in goodness and rightness, you will feel a response. You just have to remain open to it. Just for a moment, let go of fear and grasp hope.
Whether you see this or not, I can promise you that there is not a moment in your long life where you are abandoned. If you need help, all you need to do is ask. This is true of those alive and surrounding you in life, and also of your spiritual support. Humbling ourselves and reaching honestly for love, comfort, and guidance is always met with an answer. It might happen through emotion, or signs, or dreams, or in small miracles. If you need additional strength in order to get past an approaching hurdle—ask. Ask those in your life, and ask through prayer. You will be amazed by the response.
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