It’s our supreme job in this world, these lives, to act with love and compassion. Do no misunderstand that directive and think that means we must be weak and bend to things like fear, anger, guilt, or jealousy. Sometimes, the most loving act we can choose for those in our path is to say, “No.”
When a young child reaches for a hot stove, we tell them, “No!” and block their hand. That is a loving act. We’re able to prevent their injury and to teach them how to make better choices to protect themselves.
When a teenager or young adult falls victim to addiction in the form of smoking or drugs, their parents have the ability to say, “No,” by removing the child’s access to money that enables them to fund their new habit. They might say, “I will fund your schooling, room and board, but no, I will not give you any money for cigarettes or drugs.” This empowers the child to make a better choice. They can either choose to work a job to earn the money to fund their own habit, or they can decide that’s too much effort and use that as motivation to quit.
On the broader, world stage, someone like Donald Trump has been surrounded by money and power his whole life. Those are his addictions. Without them, were is he? What is he? It would be a loving act to remove his tools of manipulation and control in order to give him the opportunity of clarity and self-reflection. Take away his yes-men and means to hide from us as well as himself, so that he can see Truth. By holding him accountable for crimes already committed, karma works to create balance once again—not out of spite or anger, but love.
In my own life, I’ve dealt with manipulation from my parents, who I eventually discovered through much trial and error, are incapable of seeing me as anything more than a tool to gain themselves power and control. They strive endlessly to make me smaller in order to make themselves feel bigger. This reflex is like an addiction to them, and they’ve surrounded themselves with enablers to shield themselves from consequences. My loving, “No,” took the form of removing myself and my family from their grasp, so that they can no longer manipulate us.
There are times, as fallible humans, where we are incapable of making the better choice for ourselves. For one reason or another, the wrong choice is “easier”. We lose ourselves to addiction and fear. It is NOT the loving choice to see someone you love—who is incapable of making the better choice for themselves—and enable them to keep making that choice. By preventing them from feeling the consequences of their own mistakes, you are only helping them incur more negative karma AND incurring negative karma yourself. You are choosing to remain stuck in a spiral of negativity and pain that will only keep increasing its effects until one or all of you are forced to make a healthier choice.
You can choose to spare yourselves and your loved ones this pain. You can choose, right now, to stop helping manipulative people and to instead say a loving NO.
We hurt ourselves out of fear that we’re not good enough, or worth enough. We hurt others for the same reason. The fear causes us to lash out like panicked animals. There is strength in standing firm for the loving choice, and in helping those we love stop metaphorically burning their hand on the stove.
Have a blessed day, friends.
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