Category: Personal Lessons

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Seer Diaries: The State of the World—Fork in the Road

There are a number of topics I plan to write about on this blog that have to do with my third eye opening. These include seeing the veil between our world and the next; my experiences with negative entities; how to protect yourself from negative entities; my experiences with benevolent and divine entities; and more. Before I get to them, though, I need to set a few things straight about what I see happening in our world, and why. These are things that the larger spiritual community (parts that haven’t been infested with Q-anon—an agent of the Dark that directly targets those it sees working hard for Light) is in whole-hearted agreement on.

My expanding awareness over the past year, as well as my direct encounters with both benevolent and negative spirits has helped form my understanding of what’s happening right now. Many people are searching for answers or an explanation of why so many aspects of our society are failing at the same time.

The convenient excuse for the lower-vibration groups is that it’s all the fault of those who are upsetting the normal order in the name of what are considered foolish attempts to save the lives of others, or to question extreme abuses of authority, or blatant racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia. This old order likes things just as they have been for thousands of years, where the rich, old, white men have all of the power over everyone else, and act entirely out of their own selfish interests at the expense of absolutely everything, including the survival of our planet.

The painful truth is there are a lot of people in this world who are most comfortable when someone in authority is telling them exactly what to do, think, and feel. They enjoy knowing exactly who they should hate and criticize, who to blame each of their problems on, and how exactly to putter mindlessly through their days with no free will or independent thought.

The old order has been in power for far too long, but is finally crumbling. It feeds glutinously off of these sheep-like people who serve their goals. Their sheep never question orders, sometimes not even when their own life is at stake. They’re happily used, abused, and fed to the machine. The sheep are kept small and controllable through heavy-handed use of fear and hate. Divisiveness forbids awakening to truth. It maintains a chaotic populous that’s too afraid to look past the surface of things and band together to overthrow the tyrants causing all of the pain.

But people are awakening. The vibration of the planet and its occupants is rising. We’re overcoming duality and evolving into a place and a people who choose love over fear, and who come together to solve problems rather than hiding and pointing fingers.

This transformation is happening because of the good people in this world, because of the divine energies washing over our planet, and through the assistance of countless benevolent entities.

We’re at a crucial point in the history of the world. There is a fork in the road before us. There are only two ways this can play out. Either we will fail to rise above and lift this plane of existence to a higher level, or we will succeed. If we fail, the old order wins. The earth will become uninhabitable for humans very swiftly, and the game will be over. Any kind of survival that happens will be defined by immense suffering. The authoritarians will have ceased control over the rest, and the effects of this catastrophe will ripple outwards through the universe.

If we succeed, we will save our planet and ourselves. Our society will finally be released from the clutches of the patriarchy, from subservience, from wealth inequality, from the rat race, and from enslavement. Life will be about thriving, creative expression, community, and kindness. The possibilities are limitless.

There are those who are in touch with the other side, who insist this war has already been won by the Light, and we’re just seeing the effects of the battle rippling outward before things settle into place. I believe this is true, but I also believe those who shun the Light will be granted the freedom to exist in Darkness.

We are all of us entirely surrounded by beings who are actively engaged in this struggle between Light and Dark, love and fear, positive and negative. The Light beings are fighting for us to live our highest good. They’re ready and waiting to help, always. The Dark beings are also fighting, but to keep us plugged into its matrix of pain as food.

Before I write my upcoming post about my encounters with negative entities, it’s important for me to convey what their goal is.

We are each born into this world with Light, as sparks of the divine. Our souls are small fractal aspects of God/Source/Creation, or whatever name you prefer to call it. We are unimaginably powerful, immortal, invincible beings of love. We incarnate on Earth because it’s one of the most challenging experiences we can possibly undertake (and things get boring when you exist forever). The density of this world is well beyond the vast majority of the universe. If you think of incarnation as school, and our lives as our lessons, then Earth is one of the most grueling schools out there. It’s near impossible to get the chance to come here, so we’re very blessed to have the opportunities for growth that we do. We can evolve here in leaps and jumps.

But many beautiful souls sign up to a life on Earth only to be overwhelmed by pain and suffering. The negativity here is everywhere and drags down anyone who doesn’t fight hard enough to escape it. This negativity has consciousness. It seeks to feed off of our Light in order to trap us here. We’re like singular sparks of brightness in expansive, pitch darkness, drawing all manner of creatures of the Dark directly to us.

They don’t want us to banish them and save this world from their ruin. They capture us through our egos, and through suffering. But like all vampires, they need to be invited in. We can expel them. We can take back control over our experience, our soul, and our world. In a future post, I will list specific examples on how exactly to do that.

Friends, we’re right at that fork in the road. In fact, some of us have already chosen the path of Light and have stepped onto it. Because we’re still close to the fork, we can see those who are headed down the path of the Dark. They’re still right beside us, but they won’t be for long. There is still time to reach them, to call them back and encourage them to choose the Light for their own sakes, if not for any other reason. Unfortunately, there is no way to force anyone to express their free will in a way they choose not to. We can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. And many, many souls are just fine with enslavement and suffering if it means they don’t need to work very hard at anything.

You will begin to see the effects of this splitting of paths in the people in your lives. Some will have a very easy time of things while others face unimaginable obstacles, challenges, and pain. One person will have their days filled with joy and relative peace, despite what’s going on in the wider world, while their neighbor is in absolute misery. Both timelines will exist side-by-side for a while, until they diverge completely.

Many who are leaving this plane through death now are doing so to continue the fight for good from the other side, where they can thrive and have a greater impact.

Those who are ascending and choosing to evolve their spirit for the highest good will fall into the flow of things. They will be carried to a higher level and given the chance to make an impact through a life that is more peaceful, enriching, and full of possibilities. No matter what happens on Earth, they will be lifted out of suffering because that is what they have chosen.

Those who have sunken deep into pits of fear and selfishness, who refuse to grow or escape their self-made prisons, will get to stay there. The universe is very accommodating. If a soul wants to stay in misery, the universe makes it happen. If Earth doesn’t survive, these souls will be relocated to another, similar place until they finally choose to ascend as well, even if it takes them literal eons to do so.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve been shocked and appalled lately by the fear-driven and ego-driven behaviors of my family and friends. The further we progress through this fork in the road, the more clearly I see people declaring their alignment with Dark or Light. Most people I see are choosing Dark. I believe that is why I am where I am, so I can do my best to infuse Light into this place and these people. We need to each look inward and determine whether our actions are driven by service to self, or service to the good of all.

If you have chosen service to self, you are on the path of darkness. You have declared your fear is more important than the continued existence of everyone else. That you are willing to kill your neighbor or your brother if it means you don’t have to work quite as hard. That’s darkness.

If you’re too afraid of sacrificing your ability to party with friends in order to protect them from suffering and death, you are on the path of darkness. If you laugh at people in pain, saying they brought it on themselves and probably deserve it anyway, you are on the path of darkness.

If you are stuck in a toxic, abusive situation, and are too afraid to do anything about it, even in the privacy of your own heart, even if it means your loved ones suffer because of your weakness, you are on the path of darkness. My parents were monstrous, evil people and not one of my relatives or friends stood up for me to them. I send light and love to all of their souls because I see them on the path of darkness and know it’s totally unnecessary for them to be headed in that direction. But their existence is their own to navigate.

It’s do or die now. Things will keep getting worse for those who need the lesson. Things will get better for those who don’t. It’s as simple as that.

Be conscious of your choices, and what is driving you forward. Be careful of where you invest your energy. If anything in your world feels negative, stay far away from it. Protect your energy. Prayer and mediation work. Loving beings are listening and want to help you. No one but you is in control of what your experience will be. Nothing in this life happens TO us. We only become victims if we choose it. Everything that you experience is a lesson—even the nightmarish catastrophes, and things that seem “unfair”. If you look hard enough, you will see the opportunities for growth. If you decide to get through the pain and come out the other side, you will.

Negativity might already have its hooks in you. It might be the cruel voice inside your head that makes you feel bad. Know that voice is not you. It’s your ego and your painbody. You don’t have to listen to it. You can tell it exactly where to go and expel it from your energy. Again, vampires have to be invited in. Stop inviting them in!

Good luck out there, everyone. Love and blessings.

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What’s Goin’ On: Spiritual Growth in a Time of Chaos

It’s the question I ask every day lately—what in the world is going on? If, like me, you’ve been enjoying a crazy voyage on spaceship Earth, you know what I mean. Whether it’s COVID-19 or police brutality, white supremacists or wildfires, murder hornets or incoming asteroids… there’s a LOT going on. And that’s just the stuff on the surface! Have you been wondering what’s really going on? All of the chaos that has broken out around us is merely a symptom of the real issues and events.

The truth is, we have no way of knowing with certainty what’s actually going on, and that’s the main problem causing so much stress. But there are some secrets everyone has access to that make riding out this rollercoaster more thrilling and less terrifying.

To catch a glimpse of the truth, one needs to first unplug and step outside. Savor the sun on your face, the wind in your hair, the birdsong and blue skies. Can you see it? Do you feel it? How the Earth herself has rejuvenated thanks to our global pause during quarantine? Creation is rejoicing! It’s beautiful out there and every one of us can connect to it even if it’s just from our doorstep or an open window.

I have some solid theories, supported by evidence from trusted sources, about the purpose for all of this nonsense. Take them or leave them as you will, because they are only that—theories.

Each of us has a reason to be here in this current incarnation, at this specific point in spacetime. We have our missions. And I guarantee for the wide majority of us, our missions have nothing at all to do with our day-jobs and daily routines. The lockdown is a gift to break us out of our comfortable circles that we turn around and around in every single day. Stuck at home, forced to detach from our beloved distractions, to stay still and pay attention, we have the chance to take a hard look at our choices. At who we live with and why. At what exactly is making us miserable. At what we’ve been doing repeatedly that we actually hate, or love, more than we’ve admitted to ourselves.

When we step off of our paths, the universe is designed to drop something rough in our way to divert us back to where we need to be. That’s just the way it goes. For many of us, all of these global events and catastrophes are a giant wake-up call. Because the world is changing. We’re rising up to higher levels, and if we can’t get with the program, we’re going to be asked to disembark.

How do we rise? By letting go of that which no longer serves us! By exposing the rot and ruin to be cut away so real healing can begin. That which has been harming us for as long as we can remember is being shown the door. It’s dying. It has lost. All of us have believed in things that it turns out aren’t what we thought. We’ve been foolish. But being foolish isn’t the end of the world, it’s just a chance to start anew.

What do we let go of specifically? Privilege. Selfishness. Intentional ignorance. Cruelty. Institutions built by the wealthy few, for the betterment of only the wealthy few, thanks to the undying labor and suffering of the many.

It’s all going. Clearance sale.

Have you noticed the patterns? How so many countries are being ruled by the same kinds of foolish, hateful narcissists with authoritarian dreams? There’s a purpose to that, just like there’s a purpose to everything in our world. What better way to expose the worst elements of our world than by enabling all of those foolish narcissists to do it for us? They show us what we need to do, and witnessing their crimes gives us the incentives needed to get it done. Yes, even they are a gift! Can you believe it?

That’s what’s going on. We’re transforming, on every level. But the exterior shifting is all due to the guidance of spirit. Now is the time. We’ve pushed it all to the edge, and now as it all seems to crumble to ash around us, the phoenix within finally has its chance to erupt into existence.

What can we do? It’s different for each of us. To find your guidance, you need to look within. You’re not going to find your answers on the internet or the tv or your phone. My best advice is to locate your pain points, and smash them. Explode them. Whatever is freaking you out on the deepest levels—whatever choice you’ve made that’s haunted you endlessly, but you’ve stuck with it because all of these excuses you’ve given yourself—smash it! Get the heck out of there. Make the better choice. Give it a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?

Over the past year, I’ve done that. I’ve unraveled my tapestry of pain until only the thinnest fibers were left. I’ve had to un-make myself—this identity that came with this body and personality when I was born into the family to which I was born. I questioned it all, on every level. I let go of every part that hurt. I set that crap down and walked away.

What has it gotten me?

You honestly wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But what the heck, I’ll give you a peek anyway.

I’m no longer afraid. Of anything. My baseline now is a state of inner peace. Sure, I get knocked askew into other emotions on a glorious spectrum, but I can quickly and easily find my way back. I’m fulfilled. I love my life, but more importantly… I love myself. Completely. Utterly. More than anything. And all of those attachments? Released!

What do you do when you achieve inner peace at the age of 41? Where do you go from there?

It’s wild, I’ve gotta say.

Over the past year, I’ve discovered my clairaudience, claircognizance, and (just lately) clairvoyance. Magical, impossible things happen to me all day, every day. I’ve literally manifested my will in ways that have left my husband, the witness, gobsmacked. I see and hear energy 24/7/365. I know when spirits are around. I get clear, decisive guidance whenever I seek it. I glimpse the future.

And I’m not special. At all. This is inside of us—all of us—if we look for it. IF.

But even with all of that, I know it’s not my place to change or “fix” anyone. Even if I can easily see what’s wrong and why and how to fix it, it’s not my place. It’s not my path. I haven’t been writing these blog posts as often because I know now that it’s not about me thinking I have any answers for anyone. I’ve been sifting through the weird and getting my feet more firmly planted, but what is there to say when you have solutions but can’t share them?

We all love our problems. LOVE. They define us. They make us who we are and become our safe place. They’re familiar and we can go around and around the same problem for a lifetime, savoring it, terrified of what would be left if we actually just solved it. I see that happening with the people I love every day.

If I was to suggest the solution, they’d get defensive, because you can’t make someone be ready to heal. You just can’t, no matter how much you might want to. They have to get there on their own, at their own time. We have to just be there to love people through their self-imposed hell. Because the only thing holding any of us back is fear. And fear is hard. It’s the biggest antagonist of our existence.

What’s going on?

A whole lot of fear. A whole lot of chances to shake this whole thing up and make it so much better.

Can we? Absolutely.

Will we?

Time will tell.

Love and blessings, friends. I’m always here if anyone ever needs some heartfelt listening.

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Embrace Change

People keep saying this is going to change things forever. This virus and this lockdown. And I’ll admit it makes me defensive. It causes an automatic negative reaction in me that I’ve been trying to understand. I witness my instinct to argue with them and say it’s not going to change anything. It’s one virus. Just a few weeks stuck at home. But then I remember that life is about change. The only thing we can guarantee for certain is that everything changes. It always will, no matter what. It’s not something to be afraid of, because it’s how our world works, and how we work. There is comfort to be found there.

The stay-at-home orders are creating an environment of forced introspection for not only only area or one country, but the whole planet. That’s huge. So many of us fill our days with busyness to escape the things we’re really here to do, the lessons we’re here to learn. We avoid and distract ourselves to delirium because we’re uncomfortable with self-scrutiny. It scares us. Why? Because we all know, deep-down that the only things that really matter in this life are the things that come from within. Our experience of life is entirely determined by our attitude, our perceptions, our opinions, and our beliefs. Every single one of us could be dropped into the same circumstances and come away with entirely different experiences of it. The biggest determining factor of what our life will be like comes down to one question only—who am I?

The only way we can possibly begin to answer that question is to spend time within ourselves trying to figure it out. This lockdown is giving us that, whether we like it or not! Who we are, why we are who we are, and what it means are the great mysteries of our time. The duration of our existence in these temporary bodies, in this weird point in history of planet Earth, has only one purpose and it’s not to change the world, or become rich and famous, or play the part of the hero in some fictional epic, but only this: to understand ourselves a little better. No matter how hard Hollywood and storybooks try to convince us otherwise, the truth is we are not the hero of our story. We’re the witness. The observer. The student. Your job and my job is to learn.

An ever-changing reality provides unlimited opportunities to learn. Our world right now is getting smaller, simpler, stranger, as our options of what we can do to fill time is limited. This is the universe telling us what’s going on out there doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. The world will turn and the sun will rise whether we’re checking the news or not. Trust it to mind itself and instead turn your focus inward. Examine your daily life, your feelings, and your frustrations. I promise that for each of us in our own ways, our actual puzzle to solve right now is not COVID-19 or the stay-at-home order. Those are just the excuses we’re using to avoid our actual puzzles. We talk about the virus or the ways our routine has changed because of it so we don’t have to look at the tougher stuff.

Total honesty: my puzzle is that I have an instinct to fix people and relationships. When two pieces don’t quite connect I fight and struggle to find some kind of way to make them work anyway. I’ll keep doing this until I go crazy from it. It’s the lesson that has spiraled around and repeated in my life in many shapes and forms, over and over again. That’s the thing I avoid looking at. My real work right now is to let go of the need to make things work the way I think they should, to instead let people be who they are, to let situations and relationships be what they are, and accept that the actions, expectations, and perceptions of those I’m most concerned with fixing actually have nothing at all to do with me. I am. They are. We can be together as we are—just as we are—and witness the beauty of it. We don’t need to change anyone or fix anyone. We are who we are for valid reasons. We’re at different stages of growth and change, and the only way we can get to the next stage is to embrace this one and open ourselves to whatever comes.

Change. That’s what is coming. That’s what is so difficult to allow sometimes. We like to be prepared and have consistency. We love our routines and live by them, but that’s not what’s real. That’s not how it works.

People love to predict what they think will happen, but they don’t know. They can’t. Guessing makes them feel more in control when things get scary. They swear up and down that they’re right and they know how things will play out but those are lies built on fear. The truth is we don’t know. We just have to take the ride. Trust in ourselves and in fate. Have faith that nothing happens accidentally, that every thing big and small is intentional and planned for a perfect outcome. This place is not our home. It’s just where we come to learn. Our time here is limited but for good reason. Our only job is to enjoy the adventure of it all as best we can while it lasts, and embrace the knowing buried deep in our spirits that those controlling everything behind the scenes know what they’re doing and have our very best interests at heart. (Hint: the wizard hiding behind the curtain is YOU, your higher self, a co-creator of this world and your life along with all the rest of us as fractal pieces of the same glorious whole.)

This unusual period of time will change us. All over the world, right in this moment, people have too much time on their hands and not enough distractions to avoid the greatest puzzles of their lives. That means more of us will find the solutions and finally see the truth. Eyes are being opened and mass awakenings are happening. The real work is being done, faster than ever before. Broken relationships will feel undeniably broken. The answer staring us in the face that we try so hard not to see will be glaring brightly. Lies will stand out starkly. Fear will be blatant. So will love, and compassion.

We’re not here to earn money, to devote ourselves to the rat race, to accumulate the shiniest stuff, to compete, to win, to change minds, or to flatter our egos with the attention of others. We’re not here to be afraid of anything and hide ourselves away under blankets. We’re not here to live out the same routine every day for decades until we die. All of the things we’re being prevented from doing right now by these circumstances are things we’re not here to do. That’s part of the lesson.

So what can we do? Help others. Show love and compassion. Make human connections in whatever ways we’re able. Feel gratitude as often and in whatever ways we can. Do the hard inner work and figure out what we’ve been trying not to see. Reach a breaking point and leap bravely into the void. Behold the one thing that’s been driving you crazy the most, say to yourself, “I can’t do this anymore,” and mean it. Then give yourself the freedom to make a different choice. Choose change. It’s not a punishment. There really is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the gift we’ve been waiting for in disguise. There is always a different way to do things, another way to see them. We get so stuck in our ways and that’s what hurts us more than any perceived unfairness imposed upon us from outside. We’re the ones hurting ourselves the most.

So stop. Find a new way. Embrace change and see the wondrous places it takes you.

Love and blessings, friends.

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Overwhelmed? Shift Tracks & Practice Gratitude

Fear, grief, shock—negative emotions like these can be overwhelming. They have a gravitational pull that’s tough to fight against, making it difficult to find peace or happiness. The best way to combat this is by consciously shifting emotional tracks and expressing gratitude.

Any crisis in our lives in which we lose something or someone tends to turn our whole world upside down. Suddenly, nothing feels the same. We find ourself stuck in a world we don’t recognize or relate to, and can’t find the exit. It’s tempting to try and wish our way out, fondly thinking of what it was like just days ago—how normal it was then. The strangeness is just as inescapable as the lure of sadness and fear.

I’ve found myself adapting quicker than others to the upheaval of this pandemic, because—to be brutally honest—all of this feels easier to deal with than when my youngest brother died. I’m sure many of you can relate in your own ways. When a sudden event explodes your emotional life, it teaches you about coping and surviving. You’re then able to tell yourself, “well, I got through THAT, so I can get through THIS.”

Our experiences of this event will be widely varied, but with similar themes. All of us are adapting on our feet and doing the best we can (whatever that means). If you start getting stuck in the muck of negativity, pull yourself out by thinking of what you can be grateful for:

  • Working from home? No more headaches or stress from commuting! Wear soft pants! Have fun defining what constitutes your new “office”!
  • Missing a loved one due to social distancing? How lucky you are you to have someone that great in your life! Reach out in safe ways to connect and tell them how much they mean to you.
  • Stressed about still having to go to work? Know you’re providing something essential to the rest of the world and we are all thankful for what you do! You’re doing important work and are here for a reason.
  • Out of work or not getting paid? The universe has gifted you time! How are you going to use it? What ways can you use to fill your time? Is this an opening to take your life in a new direction? Enroll in virtual classes? Look for work in one of the essential work fields? Choose your path!
  • Your lockdown roommates are driving you crazy? Use the built-in little community of your household to meet your socializing needs when you have them, then find ways to escape: meditating with headphones on and calming music playing; go for a walk if you don’t live in a densely populated area (maintaining social distancing for safety); sit on a balcony or a sunny spot with a cup of tea; read a book you know you love and travel in far-away mental worlds. Consider all your options and delight in your choices!
  • Worried about someone who is sick? Give thanks for everything they’ve added to your life, tell them what they mean to you, and look for ways you can help.

Rather than focusing on what’s missing, focus on what you have

We’ve all lost something over these past weeks, even if it’s just the loss of a familiar routine. That’s a valid reason to have your feelings in an uproar. Own that. Allow it and accept it. Tell yourself, “Yes, things are different now, but…” and then list a few things you are glad to still have.

Get a piece of paper or notebook and write down an actual list of as many things as you can think of. Or, start with the first ten that come to mind and tomorrow list ten more. Make a new routine of it!

The biggest comfort to me after losing my brother was getting lost in warm memories of him. He gave me an incredible hug during one of the last times we were together. When things got tough, I’d imagine I was back there and he was hugging me with all of the love he had for me. It made me feel cherished and grounded. It also reminded me I still have him, just in a new form.

Transitions are tough but humans are resilient creatures. When pressed, we can and do adapt. You might surprise yourself as hidden, as-yet-untapped parts of yourself are awakened by this experience. New strength will form in you and you’ll be better for it.

Let go of everything except what really matters

Crisis forces us to simplify. We have no choice but to re-evaluate our dusty old To Do lists and only tackle what we absolutely have to. You might find when you do this that you’ve been bogging yourself down with too much for no good reason! Simplifying is freeing. It leaves us lighter and more ready for whatever comes next.

Humans get easily attached to things. We love our labels and habits. But the more we attach to, the more we are weighed down. Use this chance to let go of as much as possible. Discover new shapes your life can take, and the newfound joy this process can bring.

Delight in the adventure of it all

Well, if anything we can definitely say life isn’t boring right now! So, take the ride. Go with the bumps, twists and turns. Look at it like you’re a character in a crazy video game or movie and have no say in the plotline. Fight your battles as needed, and then take pauses to laugh at how wild things have gotten.

Each of us are living through historic times. Witness it! Take it all in so you have some great stories to tell after. Allow yourself little moments to go, “can you believe this?!” and then find new comfort in your rest time (watching movies, reading books, doing puzzles, creating art or music, getting projects done, test your hand at writing, etc.)

My brother died almost exactly five years ago and I still say to myself, “I can’t believe that actually happened!” It was so big, so transformative, that the wake of its impact still causes ripples. But for all of the pain his loss brought, it also gave me indescribable gifts that I give thanks for every single day. I learned so much about myself, and grew by leaps and bounds. I found new, deeper ways to appreciate him and the gift his presence was in my life.

It’s awful but true that we don’t really appreciate things until we lose them. The losses you’re adjusting to now, even if temporary and banal, will highlight how blessed you are in surprising ways. I guarantee it! After this, going out to socialize and be with others will feel incredible. We will not take it for granted. We will treasure our health and safety even more. We’ll see with new eyes the value of people versus the value of consumerism and capitalism. This process is connecting us. It’s showing us who we really are and what actually matters in life.

Take the ride. Witness the adventure. Grow from the process.

And, as much as possible, give thanks.

Love and blessings, friends.

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Don’t give into fear of COVID-19

The dark, Earthly powers-that-be want us to be scared of this thing. They’re trying really, really hard to keep us in constant terror of whatever might happen next. This is not for our benefit! This is so we stay easily controlled and tuned in to the news networks. Before, when a disease would spring up someplace in the world and begin to spread, we didn’t have smartphones to inform us instantaneously of updates from the other side of the planet. Instead, only the things in our immediate sphere of awareness would touch us. We were much happier and healthier for it.

The world becoming a smaller place has its benefits. It helps us feel connected to people both near and far, showing us how much we have in common. We can learn from each other and become stronger together than we are apart. But our all-present connections to each other hurt us as well.

Fear has a profound effect. It changes the energy of our body. Stress makes us physically ill in countless ways, not to mention the mental and emotional consequences. Being scared all the time, every day, is really bad for all of us, without exception. I’m here to tell you that staying informed over what’s going on in the world right now is not more important than your health. You being upset over the latest person to die in another part of the world, due to unknown circumstances, does nothing to benefit anyone.

Turn the news off. Stop listening. Stop reading. Give yourself at least a full day off. You have my permission.

I was reading CNN yesterday and I felt the knot of tense sickness form in my stomach. So, I shut my computer off and meditated for fifteen minutes instead. The knot in my stomach went away, and I vowed to try harder to resist the pull to check for news updates.

It’s very tempting to keep checking. I know. I’m right there with you. But religious folks can tell you all about temptation and how good it is for you in the long run (hint: it’s not). If you’re meant to receive a piece of information, I guarantee the universe will make sure it happens. You never have to go searching for information, people, things, etc. that are crucial for you to have in your life. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

We’re at a pivotal time in the history of the world right now, and not for the reasons you think. More than ever, now is the time to consciously choose hope over fear.

Things are shifting. The spiritual community can tell you all about it. I’ve felt it coming for many months (as have many others) as an unmistakable sense of “something’s going to happen”. It’s been called simply The Event. I’ve done oracle card readings about it this week and the results lined up perfectly with everything else. Even my skeptic husband is in agreement about it.

What we’re experiencing right now are the birth pains of the shift. A new Earth is coming and in order for it to arrive, we’ve got to endure the messy transition. Space needs to be cleared. Low, toxic energy forms need to be released. Look around us at what’s been happening. There’s been one thing after another with the weather, politics, societal violence, discrimination, and climate change. The list goes on and on. It’s all connected. The toxicity of our world is being exposed for healing. The poison needs to rise to the surface so it can be purged and washed away.

That’s what this is. Look at how this disease is forcing us all to slow down and spend more time close to home. See how it’s benefiting the environment as we suddenly ease up on our constant polluting of our world. It’s making us look within and spend time with the things we’ve been using busy-ness to avoid. Our sudden wealth of free time is a gift.

There are two opposing ways this can go for each of us. All of us, in the privacy of our hearts, have a choice to make that will determine the future of our souls, in this life and well beyond it into the next. Hope or fear. Love or pain. You declare your team every moment, every day, by the energy you put out. Even if your mind says “love”, if your energy says “fear”, you’re just fooling yourself.

This is the biggest choice you have ever and will ever make, in any life.

Timelines are splitting off. Those who choose fear are going down one very specific kind of path with a dire ending. They will live with their fear, and be given the freedom to use their will to embrace low vibrational, dense energy for the rest of this life and whatever lives lay ahead of them.

Conversely, those who choose love and hope are going down a different kind of path. We are the ones ushering in the new Earth. We’re birthing higher Source energy and transforming not only ourselves but everything around us. We’re the way-showers, guiding as many as we can down a kinder, brighter, lighter direction. Just by sitting—alone in our houses—in joy and gratitude and peace, we’re emitting tons of light to everyone around us. Each of us has the ability to do massive amounts of good right now, for so many others, just by doing whatever it is that makes us happy.

Make a list of 10 people or things you’re grateful for. Hold them in your heart and be thankful for being so blessed.

Understand your guides, angels, and ancestors are with you now and at every step of this journey. They are there to help you! If you need anything from them, ask. Open yourself to their benevolence. Request they guide you on a path for your most beneficial outcome. Ask for signs. Pray or meditate. Keep a journal.

We are not alone. Ever.

We’re invincible, immortal sparks of God-energy incarnated temporarily in fragile mortal bodies. We’re here to learn and grow. Our paths are pre-determined before birth. Our soul contracts determine what lessons we’ll face, and what challenges. This contract declares when and how we’ll exit this world. And when we do? When our time comes? We leave behind pain, fear, suffering, misery, and worry. We go to our true home, in bliss and peace, to an existence so incredible, so indescribable, nearly every near death experience recounts how souls beg to stay on the other side, and resist being sent back to their Earthly body.

Earth is the challenge. Earth is one of the toughest soul-schools there is. The energy on this planet is so dense and difficult, we’re praised as brave heroes for even trying to exist here. But we come here because it’s so hard. We learn more quickly, growing by leaps and bounds compared to other, easier worlds where we could incarnate.

Do not be sad for the dead. They’re in the better place. We’re the ones suffering—not them.

So, embrace your path. Wherever it leads you is where you were meant to go. Whatever timeline you end up on was also pre-determined in your soul contract. But by releasing whatever is standing in your way right now from a lighter heart and a better life, you can only help yourself.

Our paths will keep branching off from here. Some of us will be isolated in peace and joy, largely untroubled with smooth sailing from one day to the next as we ride the flow of life. Others will be faced with obstacle after obstacle, suffering, and disaster. These are not punishments but examples of the universe pushing you to question choices made over and over again (with the same painful results), and to release whatever’s only causing you harm. Accepting what’s happening now—whatever it is, and with no resistance—is the fastest way to move forward to something better. Just because you experience one thing, does not mean others will do the same. It is possible to exist in a peaceful bubble in the midst of what seems to be disaster. It’s just as possible to exist in a bubble of disaster while everyone else seems fine. Laugh at it! Take it as it comes. Do your best. Get through it. Don’t take it too seriously. Play the game and do so lovingly. Refrain from judging the experiences of others around you, as they have the free will to decide on their experience just as you do. We can only influence them through our love and compassion, hoping they soon will decide to be kinder to themselves.

There is no place for fear here. We’re being guided. We’re fulfilling prophecies and experiencing one of the greatest times in the history of this world. What’s happening now has never happened before. We’re evolving while incarnated, transitioning this world to a higher level for the betterment of us all, and all future generations.

You can do this. Enjoy the wild ride. You have a team of loving souls behind you, cheering you on every step of the way and they’ll be there for you throughout eternity.

Love and blessings, friends.

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Lean In to Your Emotions to Find Peace

In our busy modern lives, unpleasant emotions can seem to get in the way. We might have a nagging feeling we should be happier or more content with our lives as they are. That we should feel grateful, blessed, or lucky, but we don’t. And that’s okay. We have to make space for whatever emotions are passing through us in the moment.

Emotions are our direct link to our souls. While the mind distracts with thought analysis, worries, and criticism—our hearts know truth. When we talk about getting to “the heart of the matter”, we mean we can trust in our feelings to clear away the nonsense and help us figure out what’s really going on.

We all bury feelings we don’t want to face. Sometimes it’s a matter of survival, but a lot of times it’s about convenience or dread. We get scared, and push the fear down. We become overwhelmed with grief, and turn away from it out of a mistaken belief we should be “strong” instead (strong meaning stoic and wooden). Or something makes us angry, out of a sense of unfairness or because we’ve been hurt, but we feel it’s “bad” to be angry so we shelve the emotion and force pleasantness instead.

When we bury emotions in these ways, they don’t go away. Instead, they sink down into our spirit to be dealt with at a later time. They linger. Fester. The longer you go without processing your emotions, the more they will poison you from within. Soon, this poison wells up and spills over onto those closest to us. That’s how those we love most become the victims of bottled-up feelings they didn’t cause.

Deliberately ignored emotion creates the swiftest path to misery. This is because your emotions are literally your soul crying out for attention and care. It’s the core of what makes you you saying, “hey, we have a problem here! What are we going to do about it?” Buried emotions can become a weight we drag around with us night and day, causing stress, dismantling our health and state of mind. They cause a wide spectrum physical and mental illnesses.

So, what CAN we do about it?

The first step is self-care. Real self-care. What that is is different for everyone. Listen to your gut instinct, your desires, your small inner voice. What do you WANT? Rest? Space? Quiet? Someone to listen? To scream into a pillow? To run as fast as you can until your muscles burn and you fall exhausted to the grass?

Whatever it is, do that. Take care of YOU in a way that doesn’t negatively impact anyone else. Our primary responsibility—always—is to take care of ourselves first. To secure our oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. If we’re dying, we can’t be there for anyone else. Yet. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. No one gets to demand you do, and if they try, get away from them because they’re toxic.

After emergency self-care is tackled, the next step is to put in place a regular schedule of small acts of self-care you can practice every day, even if only in little ways—breathing exercises, five minutes of meditating, stretching, working on an art project, listen to relaxing music, find something that makes you laugh, get out in nature after work or between errands, take naps, say no to things, or call someone you love. Give yourself what you need in order to function, feel balanced, and cared for.

Look for responsibilities you’ve been shouldering you can let go of. I’m sure you can find some if you try. We’re all very good at deciding we need to do certain things for others when no one has actually asked us to do them. The world will not stop spinning if your home isn’t spotless, or the laundry doesn’t get done, or if you go for a walk rather than visit stressful people, or if you shut your phone off for the rest of the day, or if you close your eyes for fifteen minutes, or start a journal to spill out all your hidden thoughts and feelings in a safe space.

This is the path to healing. This is how we start to mend our wounds so we can begin to function in a much different, healthier, happier way. We need to heal ourselves before we can start to relearn how to be. Think of it as emergency spiritual care in a self-created hospital made up of focused attention to our needs.

Then, the next time we feel anger because someone was rude to us, let yourself lean into it. Instead of turning away, let the anger wash through you like a strong wave at the beach. It’ll crash against you, overwhelming for just a second. Feel it. Recognize it. Don’t DO anything, just be where you are and feel what you feel in the moment. Let it rush all through your body.

And then, let the wave keep moving. Don’t try to hold onto it, just let it be the motion and energy that it is. You’ll feel it soften and roll away. It’ll become less powerful, dissipating. Before you know it, before you can even formulate a response to the rude person, the anger will be already melting away. If you need to help it along, find a safe, secluded way to let it out. Sit alone in your car and scream. Throw pillows. Go for a run.

We need to honor our emotions as they occur, in the moment. Let yourself witness them without judgment. Watch them like you watch movies, as something interesting that’s happening. Notice how they sit in your body, and how they start out so intensely, but then so quickly dissolve into nothingness once we give them the attention they require.

Because they will dissolve. They always do. Everything in life is temporary and in motion. This goes for all emotions on the spectrum too.

Let them be and look for what they’re trying to show you. Emotions are like spiritual signposts pointing us to the way forward. They lead us to exactly where we need to go in order to continue on our path. If you walk your path with a clear head and a little bravery, it will take you away from everything that’s weighing you down and making you miserable, and towards true, lasting peace. It’s where all of your dreams come true.

A lot of times we’re sad, unhappy, tired, angry because we keep choosing an action that’s harming us. Maybe we’re enabling other people to take advantage of us because we think it’s the “nice” thing to do, and it’s easier for them to do that than to do the work to take care of themselves in the proper ways. Or we’re miserable because we are that person taking advantage of someone else rather than doing for ourselves in the ways we know we can and should.

Please hear me when I say we will always be made miserable by doing things that hurt us. The only way the hurt stops is by choosing love instead. Love yourself. Love those around you. Love the process. Love the opportunity to grow and evolve. Do the hard thing by doing the right thing. Feel the hurt so it can heal. Care for the wound and stop creating new ones. If you’re hurt, feel it. Honor it. Sit with it in the quiet of your heart. And then let it go. Savor the relief and calm left in its wake. This is where peace lives.

Love and blessings, friends.

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Forgiving Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Our attachments and pain prevent us from progressing towards a happier, more fulfilling life. A key part of processing our pain and moving beyond it is the act of forgiveness. By forgiving someone or something, we let go of the pain brought to our life, releasing ourselves from it. There are, however, common misunderstandings about what forgiveness is.

A great many people think forgiveness implies forgetting. That everything can “go back to the way it was before”, with the relationship reverting to former levels of trust and respect. They want it to feel like the incident never happened in the first place.

This concept of total, instant absolution is not what spirituality—or religion—asks of us. It’s what abusive, toxic people want us to think forgiveness is.

When something or someone causes us pain, it creates in us a heaviness and noise. It weighs us down emotionally, and burdens us psychologically. We devote far too much precious energy to the act of mentally replaying the incident over and over again, picking it apart and scrutinizing every aspect. With hurt feelings, we look for ways to defend our part in things, and to lay blame at the feet of others.

All of this is normal, but it’s not good for us to stay in this place of dwelling long. The biggest gift we can give ourselves whenever we feel wronged is to look for a way to process the experience, release it, and move beyond it. The longer we hold on to the weight and the mental noise, the more harm it causes. It can truly crush us. And by failing to move beyond the pain, we give those whom we feel wronged us the ability to hurt us even more, for a possibly infinite amount of time.

Don’t get stuck in pain.

Forgiveness is acknowledging what has happened, and agreeing to let go of our attachment to it. It involves understanding everyone involved did their best at the time, even if their actions failed to live up to expectations. It means declaring the incident finished, that we wish the others involved well, we send them love, and we are releasing all our negative feelings about it.

By forgiving, we are able to leave the past in the past. We stop trying to drag it forward into the now. This is a healthy thing to do! We must always strive to recognize that the past doesn’t exist, except in our thoughts and emotions, and we all have total control over our thoughts and emotions. We can choose to only hold onto the ones serving our highest good.

What forgiveness does NOT mean, is forgetting what happened. The reason we endure trials in life is so we may learn from them, thereby allowing us to act differently if something similar happens again and spare ourselves further pain. These trials might be avoided by staying away from certain people or situations, or by adjusting our own behavior. Life itself is a series of lessons. We’re defeating the purpose of life by ignoring the lessons it presents us.

Those who attempt to define forgiving as forgetting are actively working against the point of being alive.

By learning that touching a hot stove causes burns, we learn not to touch hot stoves. Forgiving the stove for burning us does not mean we can go around touching hot stoves without consequences! It just means we are recognizing it’s in the stove’s nature to be hot, and it wasn’t a personal attack against us when we were burned.

It is possible to forgive those who fail to be accountable for their actions. Being accountable involves the three R’s: repentance, restitution, and being personally responsible. Repentance is remorse or self-reproach for what one has done or failed to do. Restitution is the act of making amends; of returning or restoring to someone what is his. It is reparation for injury or damage. And of course having personal responsibility means being legally or morally obliged to take care of something, and being able to account for one’s actions.

There are unfortunately many people who cause pain in others, and totally fail the test of accountability. These people do none of the three R’s, and they go on to cause pain in the same ways repeatedly in many people around them.

Please understand it’s not our job to fix this people, or even to force them to behave differently. Their behavior is completely beyond our control, thanks to free will. We cannot stop them, but we can learn the best ways to protect ourselves from them. Forgiving them is how we break the ties linking us to them, setting them free and wishing them well as they continue on about their lives.

People who do not have accountability are not people you want to be linked to for any length of time. Without forgiveness, you’re permitting them continued access to your energy and happiness. You’re giving them the power to make you miserable for a long time. Please, spare yourselves that.

We are only responsible for our own actions and feelings. Take care of yours by releasing painful ties with love. Love will always guide us to happiness and light. You can show love to someone doing terrible things without losing the moral high ground. It’s loving to discover ways to prevent further pain. It’s loving to deprive others the ability to hurt us. It’s loving to witness who someone really is, and to hope they also learn and grow.

Forgiving does not mean our trust is restored or our respect earned.

Learn, let go with love, and move forward with a free heart.

Love and blessings, friends.

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Ascension Sickness & Side Effects You May Experience in Living While Awakened

The point of a spiritual awakening is to shift focus to your spiritual growth in pursuit of enlightenment. When going through a spiritual awakening, you typically expect your spiritual life to evolve. You might not expect, however, the way this process changes other aspects of living as well. There are many side effects you may not even be aware are directly tied into your awakening.

A few weeks ago, I discussed symptoms that are experienced during the initial spiritual awakening process. Because the strange occurrences don’t stop once you progress through the first stages of awakening, this post is a discussion of symptoms that can be experienced when you’re living your life while awakened. Some refer to this as Ascension Sickness. As a “sickness”, it comes and goes in waves of varying lengths as your physical form adjusts to the evolution of your spirit.

Below is a list of things I’m experiencing right now, and often see discussed by others in the spiritual community. It’s unfortunately so uncommon to find honest discussion of these side effects, I wanted open up about what I’ve been dealing with in case it helps someone else. If there is anything you’d like to see an expanded discussion on, or something not mentioned here that you’ve experienced, drop me a note in the comments below.

Spiritual awakening is part of the Ascension process. If you’re not familiar with what Ascension is follow this link for a basic primer (but be warned, it’s quite a rabbit hole to fall into! Think of the movie The Matrix. Investigation into Ascension is equivalent to taking the red pill).

Whether or not you are aware of what Ascension is, our reality is already in the process of expanding all around you. The Oneness of creation is rising above the divisiveness of fear and hate. Polarities are collapsing into states of non-duality as we begin to remember the infinite ways everything is connected. What was merely 3D is becoming 5D. It is our choice whether to ascend and raise our vibration as our world undergoes transformation. The more of us that ascend, the better the chance our planet and us as a people will survive and thrive. Those of a lower vibration are so dead-set on destroying this world through greed, hate, and fear, it’s up to the rest of us to help lift this plane of reality to a better place through light and love.

I’m a few years into my awakening, with all of the intense initial side effects of my spiritual awakening process tapering off months ago. My understanding is that once awakening begins to raise your vibration in earnest, this is what causes the initial side effects. Your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual being are all undergoing transformation at the same time. You’re evolving while incarnated, which takes quite a toll!

Of course, you’re not “done” once you make it through the first stages. Once “awake” you find a new normal, but everything remains in flux to a certain extent. Living a typical day-to-day routine with family, work, social commitments, etc. while awakened is a bizarre experience. As the zen proverb states: “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” Things carry on as they always have, but you are different in fundamental ways. The way you move through reality is impacted on many levels by your heightened vibration. And your vibration may continue to rise! If you commit to this path, you will keep growing and evolving.

Below are some of the things that have been happening to me. I continuously open myself to a deeper understanding of them. Knowledge is conveyed through the spiritual community, but also, and most importantly, from guidance within. Our various experiences as diverse facets of the same divine Source are by definition all very different and stem from unique perspectives. Not everyone will experience the same things I have and this is by no means a comprehensive list. As always, if something doesn’t resonate with you, leave it be and look for something else that does.

Also, with any worrisome physical symptoms, it’s wise to first consult with a doctor to rule out other possibilities first.

Tingling/Vibrating Sensations Within the Body

As your being becomes infused with waves of higher vibrational energy, you will literally be able to feel the energy coursing through your body. It’s a thrumming, shivery, pulsing sensation. It can be draining (sometimes causing insomnia) or enlivening. It can change from day to day or hour to hour. Be kind to yourself as you adjust to these new sensations. Focus on them as a way to stay in touch with your connection to Oneness and Source energy. They can make the “solid” world around you feel more ephemeral and transformative. This is a good thing!

Unusual Sleep/Dreaming

Lately, when rising from sleep I feel like I’ve taken powerful cold medicine or am coming down with something—the deliriousness is so intense. Sleep is heavier. Dreams are more vivid and weirder. Waking up makes me feel like I’ve just been yanked back from traveling in unfathomably far away places. It’s common knowledge in the spiritual community that we do much of our good work in this world while asleep, through astral projection, travel to alternate dimensions and other planes of reality. You’ll become very busy while sleeping, and you’ll feel it!

Sudden Exhaustion

I’ve had exhaustion hit me like a hammer in the middle of the day for no reason. I’ve had it last a few hours or a few days. It’s beyond the normal kind of tiredness, as it encompasses the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self. It makes it near impossible just to function and perform basic tasks. When this happens to you, don’t fight it! Your self is telling you that you need rest, so rest. Do as little as possible. Listen to your intuition, take it easy on yourself, and wait it out. This kind of exhaustion means your energy body has either been busy doing important work and needs to recharge, or that you’re receiving energy downloads to help raise your vibration and activate your DNA codes. This is good news and not something to worry about!

Sudden Waves of Intense Emotion

Awakening can bring a supercharged empathy drive. The smallest, silliest things can make you emotional, and once you’re already emotional it can feel like you’ve been swept away with the tide. It’s intense and a way your energy is magnifying your experience. These emotional moments can also be blocks and attachments rising to the surface for clearing. The best thing to do in all cases is to lean into the emotion. Let yourself face it and feel it, and then let it go. Treat yourself with patience and love, always.

Consistency of Synchronicity

I’ve been experiencing synchronicity for longer than I can remember at this point, but it has become delightfully consistent lately. Almost every time I look at a clock, it’s a multiple of 11 (311, 411, 511, 811, 422, 544, etc). This is in addition to seeing repeating numbers or number patterns in all kinds of places (license plates, signage, computer programs, time stamps, etc). 1111, 222, and 444 are my big ones right now. I also experience mindblowing event synchronicities on a regular basis, along with my husband and daughter. We’ll hear a song at an important moment, and then that song will keep popping up in other places around us. We’ll discuss a topic and then find ourselves surrounded by it when we check our phones. I got the inspiration for my last blog post while on an exercise bike, then began listening to a podcast that surprisingly enough was discussing the exact same topic as my inspiration. It’s weird! But it’s also proof that our entire experience of reality is based on patterning and that nothing at all is a coincidence. When we see these synchronicities, it’s the universe showing us we’re tapping into the flow and reading the energies around us more clearly. Think of them as loving encouragement from the beyond!

Ability to Request Specific Signs

We are always surrounded by our guides and our angels. You can communicate with them, but keep in mind they do so through telepathy and through signs. An easy way to begin communication is to clearly and directly request a specific type of sign from them. For example, I never see feathers as signs, so I requested to see one. The next day I took a walk and there, sticking up out of the grass was a giant, beautiful feather! I found feathers waiting in my path for days afterward.

Stronger Intuition

When we clear the mind (or begin to), we allow our inner voice to speak more freely. Our truth and wisdom will always be found in this core of intuition inside us. It’s our compass, pointing the way. You’ll FEEL which ways you are pulled, which way to sway when making a choice, what to stay away from, and what to pursue. When you let your intuition lead the way, you’ll have nothing to worry about, no matter what may cross your path. It will always steer you toward the best course. Our culture does not encourage searching out quiet so that our inner voice can speak more loudly than the multitude of voices that are around us all the time. But I’m here to tell you everything will become easier, in every conceivable way, if you learn to listen to this source of guidance. Now, when I have a decision to make, no matter large or small, I don’t think about it, I look within to feel which way my intuition is pulling me, and I trust that first. The more you do this, the stronger your intuition will grow!

Activated “Clairs”

During the awakening and ascension processes, your senses may become activated, allowing you greater clarity. “Clairs” such as clairvoyance (clear vision), clairaudience (clear hearing), clairsentience (clear sensation), clairscent (clear smelling), clairtangency (clear touching), clairgustance (clear tasting), and clairempathy (clear emotion) may become activated. This happens as our blocks and attachments clear away, allowing our spirit room to expand our senses into new territories. This is an area I’ve been doing a lot of research, as I’ve been experiencing both clairaudience and clairsentience in increasingly strong ways. I get information through these senses that goes well beyond “normal”. It’s exciting to experience things that break out of the confines of our typical, limited human awareness. However, there is no rule book for this stuff. It’s usually up to us to find our way and figure out how to interpret what we sense. As with everything else, trust your intuition if you begin to experience things. If you’re open to it, welcome the experiences and see where they take you.

Experience with Collapsing Polarities

We like to try and define this world we live in by dividing things into pairs of opposite extremes: light and dark; day and night; up and down; left and right; in and out; wrong and right; happy and sad; love and fear; Democrat and Republican; rich and poor; white and black. The truth is that everything is One. Everything originates from the same Source. I’ve had a few intense experiences lately with the collapsing of these polarities. This happens as our vibration rises to a level where we are interacting with 5D energy. One example of this is that while meditating, I felt an overpowering rush of emotion that encompassed both the deep despair of loss and the elation of pure joy at the same time. It honestly took me an entire day to recover from the experience as echoes of emotion worked their way through me. If you also have an experience of experiencing two extremes at the same time, this is a good indication that you are witnessing this phenomenon. It’s a good thing! You are reaching a state where Oneness is actively overpowering divisiveness.

Living in the Flow State

As I writer, I became familiar with the flow state, where time has no meaning and you’re so invested in what’s actively happening the rest of the world falls away. There is no past or future, no thinking or worrying about anything but what has captured your focus. It’s a wonderful, heightened way to experience being that infuses us with joy and exhilaration. Following awakening, you may begin to live your daily life in the flow state. This is where I’ve been recently. Thought can’t hold me, I just go with things as they happen and deal with them as they arise. I don’t plan ahead or rehash anything after it happens. Living in the flow state lets fate and the universe be your driver, taking you where you most need to go. It’s a wild ride, full of emotion and challenges, but it’s the fastest way forward. You’ll skip all unnecessary detours and float along exactly where you can do the most good.

And More

I could keep going. There is much more to cover that shakes up our world during this transitional state. Your core body temperature may lower slightly. You may become wildly overheated when sleeping. You may experience severe body aches as different chakras open. Headaches. Nausea. Light sensitivity. All of it unexplainable, coming out of nowhere and clearing up on its own. No matter what, as long as you’re sure there is no medical explanation, just allow yourself to rest. Do some journaling or meditation for guidance and clarity. Take it easy. Everything is temporary, so move through whatever phases arise as peacefully as possible, without resistance. Good luck out there.

Love and blessings, friends.

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On Loneliness & Why You Are Never Alone

The most persistent torment of my life has been loneliness. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. For decades, I believed my worth and happiness was directly tied to how many people showed their love for me. I thought if only I could figure out how to exist correctly, other people would finally want to care about me and my life would improve. Say the right things, act the right ways, and presto! This problem would be solved.

But that’s not how any of this works.

The trap I was stuck in was in believing I wasn’t trying hard enough. That harder work on my part would make my family act in nurturing, empathetic ways. Or would win me closer friends. But we can’t make anyone else do anything they don’t want to do. We can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to change. I had to LET GO of my need for others to fill the void of loneliness inside of me.

Where Does Loneliness Come From?

The reason we feel such desperate loneliness is because of where we come from. We originate from the Oneness of creation. This current plane of reality we’re inhabiting as we sit here reading these words on a screen is not our “home”. When in our natural, spirit state, we are constantly connected to all that Is in infinite ways, always. We are linked telepathically and energetically to those we love, and also to the Source of love itself. The isolation we feel in this dense dimension is intentional and short-lived. When we incarnate here, we choose to temporarily forget about Oneness so that we may experience human life and all it entails. This amnesia helps us learn and grow. It’s an adventure we embark on for a little while before going back home again to Oneness.

Loneliness comes from our deeper awareness that we are not in our preferred, natural state of being. We’re homesick. We miss our connections to Love and Spirit.

Loneliness stems from the craving to be seen, understood, and accepted. When we are not surrounded by those who are like us, or see the “real” us, it causes a yearning for this kind of connection. But when life puts us amidst those who are unlike us, there is always a reason. It becomes our job to search out what that is, to find what we’re meant to learn from such circumstances. Isolation forces us to be introspective. It gives us no choice but to question things at a deeper level. To unearth larger truths.

The good news is that you can find ways to rediscover your connection to Spirit to sate the need of connection. But the only way to do that is by going within. Our relationships with other people will never truly “fix” our loneliness. What we’re really craving is a fuller experience of Self. Loneliness is a signpost that our biggest lesson can only be solved within ourselves, and not out there with anyone else. Find ways to love yourself more, to take care of yourself more, and go in search of larger truths. This is the way to overcome the lonely ache. The more you understand the beauty of your Self, and how fully you are loved, always—more profoundly than we can dare to dream—the more you will be able to release this pain.

You Are Never Alone

I mean that literally, by the way. We are always accompanied by a plethora of spirits. We have spirit guides, ancestors, deceased loved ones, and all sorts of higher beings watching over us all the time. They guide us and keep us safe. You may picture them hovering above you in the air somewhere, but the truth is they come through the energy of our soul. It’s our constant link with the other side, and our higher self. All of these beings who love you so very much are actually with you, in the core of your spirit.

They feel your emotions. They hear your thoughts. They see what’s up ahead on your path and are eager to help you in whatever ways they can. All we need to do is ask, and open our hearts to them. If you ask them for a sign they are there, they will provide it.

Psychic mediums help demonstrate how closely our loved ones are tied to us. They are able to sense their spirits with us, and help us relay messages to them and from them. I’ve had several personal experiences with this and always highly recommend seeking out trusted mediums to those who have suffered a loss. Those we love keep watching over us. They are with us in very real ways, and have a lot of opinions about the choices they see us making! Any time we think of them, or speak to them in the privacy of our hearts, they hear it. We just usually have a tough time hearing their replies.

If it wasn’t enough to have this literal team of spirits coming along with us on this road through life, there are also other ways we’re not alone.

Each life we live, every incarnation, creates a distinct persona. They are part of us—the larger “us”, that encompasses all of our experiences in being, from the time when our soul was first formed. Every person we’ve ever been, through countless lifetimes, is also with us, linked to our soul. They’re with us through all of our trials and victories. When we heal deep wounds within our selves, releasing karma and evolving into stronger beings, they are healed along with us. They’re rooting for us. Doing the hard work on your inner self helps many more people than just one.

When we do eventually pass on, something we will all experience is something called a life review. We will re-experience in profound ways every single moment of our life, experiencing things from other points of view so we may understand the impact of our choices on our self and others. We will have the opportunity to delve into the moments to study what we did and why, and how we could have chosen differently. What this means in that right now, you’re being observed by a future version of yourself! And not only that. If you’re currently with any other people, you’re also being observed by future versions of them, too.

Yeah, I know that might seem like a lot of pressure, or make you think that to have so many others observing means they’re all judging you. But remember the world of spirit is one of pure love. They want the best for you. They are coming from a place of total forgiveness and compassion. They’re cheering you on and trying to help you find new ways to succeed in all of your goals. And on a deeper level, they are all you. They are all just different, beautiful facets of the Oneness of creation.

What Does This Mean?

This means I talk to myself a whole lot more now! I’m not kidding. I know they’re with me, so if I need to try and figure something out, I’ll talk through it. Or crack jokes when I’m “alone”. And I find it impossible to take anything too seriously. We each have our very own peanut gallery eating metaphorical popcorn and yelling silly commentary and encouragement that we might not hear and will probably ignore.

It also means you have the whole universe inside you. It means you ARE the universe. You are love. You are truth. You are never, ever alone—in any sense. It’s quite impossible, really. So, laugh at the mind when it tries to scare you into submission. Let love conquer fear. You don’t need to be anything other than your beautiful, weird self. Spend less time and energy reaching outward to feel more connected, and instead try going within. And when your loneliness surfaces and makes you sad, let the sadness move through you as strongly as it wants, and then let it wash away with the tide. In its wake will be all of the eternal love of those who are with you, always.

Love and blessings, friends.

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Side Effects of the Spiritual Awakening Process

About a year ago, when I was right in the thick of my spiritual awakening, I was experiencing a plethora of physical and mental symptoms that made me feel absolutely miserable. I was desperate to figure out what in the world was going with me on. So, I went to the doctor for a full physical and asked them to run every blood test they could. The results came back perfectly normal. I was healthy. Could of fooled me!

I had no spiritual mentor by my side to inform me my symptoms were CAUSED by my awakening. I had to figure that out on my own. So, I’m writing this post to help anyone else who may be also going through this. Know that the negative facets of these symptoms have since faded away, so there is a light (literally!) at the end of the tunnel.

A common misconception is that enlightenment lifts us out of the drudgery of our life into a blissful state. It’s also believed enlightenment is something reserved for the elite, the zen masters, and those living in monasteries. But enlightenment awaits all of us, possibly in this lifetime. It is nothing but the realization of a truth that already belongs to you—you only need to chose to see it.

Spiritual awakenings are an unmaking. They are thorough and nothing is spared scrutiny or transformation. Our concept of self, on all levels, is dismantled and destroyed piece by piece. Every attachment we have, both subtle and profound—all labels, anything we have decided we are—crumbles away. What’s left is pure truth and oneness. It’s incredibly difficult to even put words to what is left behind after this process, but it is freeing in every possible way. Enlightenment leaves us lighter, clearer, and aware on a high level.

But we’re not hermetic monks living isolated in caves. Life goes on.

When we go through this process, there are side effects. This is not widely known or talked about outside the circle of hardcore devotees in the spiritual/mystical community. I certainly had no idea what I was getting into once I’d begun to go down this path.

Adyashanti talks in detail about this in his book, The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment, which I highly recommend. Awakening—especially an abiding awakening—removes all of the blocks we’ve been carrying around with us which have been crushing our spirit. Maintaining all of our attachments, beliefs, and the heavy concept of Self costs us a huge amount of energy. When these are finally released, it unleashes a massive tidal wave of energy in our systems. This influx of freed energy effects everything—our physical bodies, the way we think, the way we feel, the way we see the world, and how we participate in it. These are permanent shifts as our being is literally remade from the energetic level upwards. Getting through it requires courage and endurance. It’s a big deal!

In comparing who I was before this process, a few years ago, to now—I’m a completely different person, in the sense that the “person” I was no longer is. The “I” has been dissolved, leaving behind only being. I could never have predicted what I’d be going through. As Adyashanti tells us, awakening is gritty, intense, and not for the faint of heart. It’s the definition of unsettling, as every aspect of who we are is reshaped. He says this process took 4-5 years for him. It’s been a few years for me as well, but the length of time is different for everyone. For some it happens all at once, instantly, but this is rare.

Listed below are specific side effects Adyashanti describes, as well as a few other side effects I’ve seen included in several lists of symptoms for spiritual awakenings. I’m only going to talk about the major ones I’ve personally experienced and can attest to, but know that some lists expand to include up to 40 different possible symptoms! 

Insomnia, Restlessness & Heart Palpitations

It’s very common for those going through the awakening process to have insomnia because of all the powerful energy that is suddenly released through us. It charges us up and pushes “tiredness” farther from our grasp. The biggest problem with insomnia caused by awakening is how frequently in our culture we’re told we need at least 8 hours of sleep in order to escape dangerous consequences. When we’re only sleeping 3-4 hours max a night for months, we start to panic, doubt, and cause ourselves unneeded harm. We lay in bed thinking “I won’t be able to function tomorrow. It’s going to be awful.” This thought gains strength as we convince ourselves of it, so it becomes reality. That doesn’t mean it’s true. It will not be true unless you accept it as true.

Instead, believe your body knows the amount of rest it needs. If you don’t sleep, that’s because your body doesn’t need the rest at that moment. Trust it. Keep going, believe in your strength, and have faith in the Source energy making up all of our beings to get you through this.

I had severe insomnia for months at the beginning of my awakening. Some nights I didn’t sleep at all. I’d go two or three days on three hours sleep. When I let go of my fear and surrendered to what I was experiencing, I realized I was fine. I kept functioning without much sleep. And then, sleep came back. Now, my sleep is heavy, deep, and full of wild, vivid dreams (but that’s a whole other story).

Along with the inability to feel tired in “normal” ways, on a set schedule, you may also be twitchy or restless, with your limbs sometimes having a mind of their own. A leg will kick out or your arm will rise. Your heart may pound in your chest. This is caused by the awakening energy moving through you. Like everything else, once you’ve gotten adjusted to your new being, it’ll ease. Breathing exercises and meditation may help in the moment.

Rewiring of the Mind

Eckhart Tolle has said when he was going through his awakening, there were several years where it was a struggle to use his mind to do work. Adyashanti explains his mind felt like an old fashioned telephone switchboard, removing one plug and manually switching it to another slot. During my experience, my mind slowed way, way down. For instance, as an author, it became a massive struggle to type correctly. I’d misspell words constantly (even my own name), the connection between brain and fingers not at all reliable. I’d intend to speak something and getting it out that way was not easy. In general, there was a mental sluggishness I couldn’t escape. 

This happens during awakening because our minds completely reorganize the way they function and process everything. The way we receive information, digest it, and react to it changes entirely. Like the energy wave, there is no resisting this. You just have to ride it out. I can tell you the way my mind works now is clearer, sharper, with more focus and much less noise.

Adyashanti explains humans tend to have 10% of their thoughts consist of functional thought. The other 90% is made up of stories we tell ourselves about what we think is happening, fantasies, mental rehearsals we indulge in, and “thinking about thinking”. This 90% has mostly to do with things that have already happened or we think are going to happen. After awakening, Adyashanti’s experience (and mine) is functional thought becomes the majority. But an almost bigger change is the amount of mental quiet. There’s a brand new experience of mental stillness, with hardly any thought at all, and just observation of the now. It’s profoundly peaceful and transformative. 

Memory Loss

This is a complicated one for me, because I already had severe memory loss due to CPTSD caused by prolonged childhood abuse. Most of my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood were inaccessible to me. During awakening, I lost even more. The shift magnified the importance of the current moment, and everything that’s happened before is now released more easily.

I’ve just accepted that my memory is always going to be poor. Planning is still sharp, it’s the recollection of the past that gets me, because honestly I don’t really care to recollect it. My thoughts don’t dwell in the past. I write things down in journals to keep track of moments I want to preserve, keep a clear schedule, and don’t worry when someone asks for details of a past event that have softened in my mind. As the past stretches out behind me, I still know what happened, it’s the details and specifics that can sometimes escape me. And that’s okay. This is another common awakening effect that Adyashanti tells us he’s seen quite often during his spiritual teachings.

Ringing Sounds

My right ear’s ringing right now as I write this! There’s debate about what causes it, but it’s one of the top symptoms of awakening on many lists. It’s not a ringing in the ears like tinnitus as much as a hearing of a ringing sound or tones. It comes and goes. For me, this has been increasing rapidly as a frequent daily occurrence. It used to just happen during meditation or rest, but now it happens whenever, wherever. The ringing can be different tones, different ears, and different volumes.

Some theories on what this is: a sign of ascension as we become more sensitive to high frequencies; the noise of creation as our world shifts to a higher vibration; higher beings, guides, and angels communicating directly with us; downloads of energy from Source to aid in the progress of our awakening; an expansion of our ability to detect the energy frequencies of other beings around us; encouragement of our progress (ringing by the right ear) or a warning (ringing by the left ear).

Vertigo

Oh boy. I experienced vertigo that came and went for months with differing severity. Some days I was vomiting and unable to move from the intensity of it. Other days it was just a vague light-headedness. It never occurred to me that this was part of awakening until I did research on the ringing sounds and found this listed as a common symptom.

It ties into the flux of energy in our systems as we regulate and adjust to it. Since awakening is an intensifying of becoming the observer of reality, a pulling back to recalibrate what we understand existence is, I think of vertigo as the camera man having a moment of unsteadiness before re-securing his grip.  

Aches & Exhaustion

The flux of new energy of our awakening causes highs and lows. Some days you will feel over-energized, others you’ll be completely exhausted. You may even feel achy like you’re getting sick. This is your body adjusting. Just rest and give yourself time.

How to Cope

For each one of these symptoms, I can promise you our resistance to and fear of them only prolongs them. Once we surrender to our reality and what we feel, we begin to incorporate the changes into our being. The blocks dissolve and we’re left with the new truth of who we are. So, relax. Open yourself to whatever you’re experiencing. Let it be. Know you’ll be okay. And then, you will. You’ll settle into it and the struggle of transition will end.

Following this dismantling part of the process, new wonders await you. Awakening itself prompts us to become healthier by eating better, exercising regularly, and engaging in rigorous self-care. Beyond this, other things might begin to develop. An example is healing abilities. Some of the awakened can heal others just by being near them. In my experience, I’ve been able to heal myself in a number of specific ways. For instance, my eye sight has recently improved and I completely stopped grinding my teeth at night. I also don’t get sick unless it’s clear my body is trying to force me to rest more.

This process awaits each of us eventually. It’s at the core of our being, and the only way forward as we transform with love and truth. Growth can be challenging, even painful, but once you get to your destination, you’ll see exactly why it was all worthwhile.

Love and blessings, friends.