Category: Understanding the Basics

You there, reading this right now—this post is about and for you—no matter who you are, where you live, what your age, race, gender, or any other external trait. Your purpose in life above all else is to do soulwork.

What is soulwork? It’s the process by which we more fully embody our true self. Your true self is your soul. Soulwork clears away the pain and noise our ego endlessly gathers around us, so that we can live a peaceful, joyous, fulfilling existence on this plane before returning to our true home. It’s the way in which learn to heal old wounds so that we are made whole. It’s how we grow and raise our vibration to a higher level. Everything in our three-dimensional world is energy that has a frequency, and we have the ability to control whether ours is low and negative, or high and positive. You can ignite your own evolution into an enlightened being, right now.

How do we do soulwork? By seeking truth and manifesting love. A good place to start is by recognizing the difference between ego and soul.

Ego is how we initially learn to define ourselves: with labels, relationships, and connections to other people, places, and material objects. Ego tells us our worth is purely determined by things outside of ourselves. Ego lies. It’s an illusion that fights for dominance over us, since it knows its existence ends when this earthly shell completes its journey and our soul moves on. Ego is our thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness observing the thoughts—the listener. The watcher.

But the truth is all that we have everything we could ever need or want already inside of us. The only thing we need to do is realize this truth, and learn to let go of everything weighing us down and distracting us. You don’t need money, or intelligence, or any sort of physical ability to achieve your full potential as a spiritual being. All you need is the willingness to do your best.

Focus on your soulwork every day, as much as possible. Learn to view the world through the pursuit of love and truth. Our society teaches us that it’s selfish to put our own needs before those of others, but you cannot care for others without first caring for yourself. You cannot fill the buckets of others when your bucket is bone-dry. You cannot help others secure their oxygen masks if you’re suffocating. Truly, the best way to help others is to first help yourself! When we heal ourselves, it has a monumental effect on everyone we come in contact with. We broadcast healing, peaceful energy. We become the ones showing others the way and igniting their desire to do their own soulwork. We give truth and love a place to anchor so they can spread and grow exponentially. There is nothing more important than that.

Ego tells us our purpose in life is to have lots of money and power over others. I invite you to take a good long look at those with a lot of money and power over others. Do they seem happy to you? Peaceful? Secure? Satisfied?

The only way to feel complete is to do soulwork. Within that path is everything you’ve ever wanted and dreamed of. It’s the path toward realizing the ultimate truth—that you are a singular facet of the whole of creation. That you are undying, omnipotent, and divine. You are a facet of God. We are all facets of God, just as we are all One. We are connected to everything. We are awareness itself, and co-creators of our world.

All the love you’ve ever sought from others? It’s waiting inside your heart for you to claim it. You don’t need to go out into the world looking for it. You can love yourself more completely than anyone else ever could. You ARE love. It’s what we’re made of. So, imagine all the wild things you’d do or give up for someone you love more than anything, as long as it made them happy. Do those kinds of wild things, give up those things for the sake of your own happiness. Take care of yourself the way you’d care for your beloved. If you need rest, then rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are restless, move. If you are hurt, search for the cause so that you can eradicate it from your world.

Everything we experience is a choice. Most of the choices we make are unconscious, but we still have the power to change them. It just takes more work to discover what’s gone wrong. So delve into your heart. Go looking for your pain. Sit with it and study it. Ask lots of questions, like “why”. Get to the heart of the problem, and look for the choice that is causing the pain to flourish. Then, all you need to do is choose something other than what’s hurting you. Will it be scary? Maybe. It will be new, and new things can be intimidating. But it’s only in facing our fear that we see fear is only ego trying to hold us back. After all, you’re a facet of God. What does God have to fear?

If there is someone in your life actively causing you pain, you’re allowed to choose to get away from them. We should always strive to surround ourselves only with those who lift us higher, rather than bring us down. Your energy is directly affected by the energy of those around you. You also attract what you broadcast.

As co-creators of the world, the world responds to our requests. That means when we choose peace, growth, and happiness, the universe is designed to then give us those things. When we choose worrying, we’re given things to worry about. When we choose misery, we’re given misery. Test this out. I dare you to try it. Your thoughts, your intentions, and your choices are what determine what is brought into your path. So choose what you WANT rather than what you FEAR. Don’t give the negative any of your attention, and see how it transforms your whole life.

Soulwork is a permanent way to improve your existence. It benefits you in this lifetime, as well as beyond. It’s why we’re here—to grow and heal our souls. Earth is one of the toughest “soul schools” there is. We’re the brave ones who have dared face the gauntlet here and have the chance to make our wildest dreams come true. When we raise our vibrations and work on real self-growth at the deepest levels, we are pursuing enlightenment, nirvana, and open wondrous new realms of possibility in this life and far, far beyond. There’s no reason besides fear not to try, and you’re stronger than fear, always. I believe in you. Do this for your self.

Love and blessings, friends.

At the heart of Buddhism are the Four Noble Truths. The first is that suffering exists in life. The second truth is that this suffering is caused by selfish craving and personal desire. The implications of this truth are at the heart of what I want to focus on today, because this is really the key to finding—and maintaining—happiness.

In our world we are taught to expect life to go a certain way. Selfish craving and personal desire are behind so many aspects of how we choose to live our lives. We’re trained that there’s a specific formula to success, which includes things like college, a career path in which we attain power and wealth, a grand home and impressive cars we own, filled with a beautiful spouse and perfect children, then a happy, healthy retirement of leisure. These become subconscious entitlements we carry around in the depths of our being. When we fail to attain them, we criticize ourselves for it. We feel it as a profound failure.

I’m here to tell you that this false formula to achieving the “correct” life is not real. We are not here in these lives at this time and place in order to coast through some weird fairytale version of existence where nothing goes wrong, and people don’t ever encounter failure or diverge from the one acceptable path. That’s total and utter nonsense.

What is life all about then?

Life is about learning.

But, learning what? That’s the key.

Your higher self knows why you’re here. Your conscious mind is not born with this knowledge. It’s hidden from you. We’re here to discover our path and our purpose.

How do we do this?

By listening to our heart, our soul, our emotions, and our intuition. Our higher self and our guides communicate to us through these four things. In the course of our life, in normal day-to-day reality, we encounter challenges of all shapes and sizes. Some are banal and others are momentous. When faced with them, all we can do—all we need to do—is our best. Give your best effort. Take each challenge as it comes, and focus only on it. Let everything else go. This is the way to progress and rapid learning.

The biggest way we trap ourselves, diverting from our true path and wasting so very much time, is by trying. Our mind—fueled by ego and fear—prompts us to worry about what we think we really should be doing instead of what comes naturally. It presents these weird ideas to us about what our life should look like, what we should do to earn the respect and admiration of others, and hypnotizes us into believing in mirages.

It’s so easy to find you’ve stepped off your path and into a labyrinth with no end. I’ve done it so many times. I’ve been convinced that only through satisfying other people (people who are impossible to satisfy), will I ever have worth. I’ve believed that only through grueling, endless, exhausting work for little reward would I ever get to my goals.

Have you ever given so much of your energy to a goal or task, only to feel like you’re just pouring yourself into a bottomless pit? Feeling that you never get where you wanted to go and it all feels like a waste?

This is your clue that you’ve been caught in the trap of trying. Once you realize you’ve trapped yourself, the good news is that all you need to do to escape is to STOP TRYING. It’s so easy! I promise.

The things that are meant for you in your life will find you whether you look for them or not.

Go back and read that sentence again, but really absorb it. You cannot avoid your lessons. They’re the whole reason you’re here. (Even when you get diverted with trying, your lessons sit there waiting for you until they can get your attention. They will keep trying to get your attention in bigger and bigger ways. This is the spiral of fate; the fractal reality of our existence.) Whether in the form of people or of goals, if something is meant for you, it will land right in your way. If you’re meant to do something, your heart will tell you so. You will fall in love with an idea and chasing it will not require any sort of trying—the idea and the path to manifesting it will come naturally and easily to you.

We waste years, sometimes decades of our lives chasing things not meant for us. You have to let them go. Your happiness is not in finally catching them. Even if you do catch them, you will be disappointed in what you find. This is why people who become suddenly wealthy or famous are so miserable. The reality behind the mirage is not the paradise they expected.

But you can find your paradise. It probably looks unlike anything you expected. Don’t listen to what other people say your life should be, or what your happiness should be. The only one who knows what you are meant for is you. Listen to your gut. Follow what you love. The things and people you’re naturally drawn to, the things you enjoy without any effort at all, are what will lead you to your bliss.

Living a good life does not mean working yourself to death doing things you hate, or winning the battle of whose grass is greener, or spending all of your time around people who make you miserable. You’re allowed to make your own choices. They probably look nothing like what other people are choosing, and that’s okay! We each have unique paths, specially tailored to our needs and our particular stage of development. We’re here to learn different things. You need to do what’s best for YOU.

Whenever I start to worry “I should be doing x”, I stop and ask myself why. Where does that “should” come from? If it comes from fear, I stop myself instantly and let the worry go. Love will never cause us to worry. If you follow love, your heart, and your joy, it will never steer you wrong. Don’t follow fear. It’s lying to you. It will trap you, causing you to spend too much time suffering when you could be experiencing peace and fulfillment.

You can let life be easy. The work you’re meant to do will not feel like work—it will be a pleasure to do. It will feel right and effortless. You can trust the universe to take care of you. You have angels by your side, always, trying to guide you in the right direction. They know the best route to take because they have a better perspective. Please, trust them. Let go of trying and do what feels right instead. Because of free will, we have the ability to go down the wrong path. You can choose to ignore your guides and get lost in trying. An entire lifetime can slip through your fingers that way.

Find some quiet time today, sit with yourself and consider whether there’s something you’ve been trying to do out of fear. Find just one thing, and try giving yourself permission to stop doing it. Make a different choice that makes you feel lighter. Let the outcome of that experiment show you what’s possible, and keep going from there.

Love and blessings, friends.

A recurring message in many circles of the spiritual theory world is that everything we do, every thought, every feeling, counts. This comes up with NDEs, past life regressions, energy healing, religion, psychic mediums, and so much more. That means not only is every bit of our mental and physical activity noticed and recorded permanently in our energy, but that we will be held accountable for each tiny way we choose to exist. In a way, thought-crime is a real thing.

I use this fact as a touch-point for myself every day, because I struggle with it constantly. I’ll admit to having a temper when pushed, and a stubborn instinct to crave justice. I have a really hard time seeing someone treat others cruelly, or just with complete carelessness, and not judge them for it. Even though I know we have no way of knowing what others are going through, or where they come from, some things just crawl up from the pit of my stomach with frustration and an inner flash of, “how could you DO that?” There’s plenty to get upset about on the world stage and political arena right now, but I have just as much trouble “letting go” of things like a co-worker who’s consistently late every single day with no consequence or obvious inkling of regret. How do you stop something from driving you to judgement? Where is the healing point within to quell the urge? I’m still figuring it out.

I’m currently reading Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing by Caroline Myss, which is all about understanding how our energy bodies work, how our choices impact our health, and how some of the world’s major religions support these ideas. The author explains how our actions are recorded in our energy, and how this process is echoed in ideas like karma and the Christian cycle of sinning/confession/forgiveness. She calls us to learn about the organized, logical ways our choices directly impact our health through the chakras, how energy levels and signs of stress can be precursors to illness. For example, the decision to manipulate others can lead to exhaustion and physical pain, which can lead to serious illness or even death if steps are not taken to move instead toward healing. The more we understand the ways these consequences work, the more we’re able to heal ourselves and correct our behaviors for our own benefit. We can take responsibility for our own health and wellbeing in very real ways. The way we interact with the world can determine how well our bodies function. This is because our bodies are directly informed by the energy running through them.

But the part of all of this that sticks with me as something I wish others were more aware of, is how even the small choices we make—the private thoughts and rationalizing as we read the news, the fleeting encounters with strangers on our way to work, our bad habits, our indulgences when we think we’re alone, the ways we care for or neglect ourselves—help determine our spiritual health.

But not only that. We’re always being observed. Nothing we think, do, or feel is private. We’re part of the energy of creation, connected at a fundamental level to all living things in this world and beyond. Our vibrations shiver outward into the universe. We’re surrounded by guiding spirits and higher beings. They see all of this stuff. Every bit of it. Don’t kid yourself—if you pay attention to your gut feelings you’ll find signals telling you you’re never really alone.

Every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done—sexual fantasies and daydreams, the guy you flipped off in traffic when he cut you off, the harm you privately wished on someone who hurt you—it counted. It was noticed. It’s hard not to freeze up and tumble into fear when you really think about it. Listen to your regret. Feel your feelings and be guided by them, always. But also know that those who guide our Souls do so with the utmost compassion and purest, most unconditional love. They want us to succeed. They’re constantly trying to help us walk the best path so we can accomplish our mission in this life and fulfill our soul contract.

Sometimes I try to imagine that “aha” or “oh crap” moment after death when people realize that despite everything they’d believed, there IS more, that we DO go on, and there is nothing secret. That we don’t get a pass for any of it. There are no excuses, and when it’s all said and done we’re our own harshest critics.

That’s why I wish we all thought about this quirk of existence more often. I try to let it inform the way I go through my day, to stop me short when I have a flare of anger or annoyance. To not only have the instinct to think “I’m going to regret this later” before acting or getting lost in negative thought patterns, but to live with more compassion and kindness in all ways so there is no reason for regret at all.

We are all human. We can’t escape that. But maybe we can redefine what it means to be human. Maybe we can become people who are not only kinder to each other, but to ourselves—even when we think no one’s watching.

Love and blessings, friends.

You can transform your life by giving yourself permission to truly love yourself—emotionally, practically, spiritually, and physically. If you prioritize self-care in all its forms, you’ll more easily clear the obstacles in your path, you’ll go through your days happier, bringing positive energy to others and helping to make the world a better place. Loving yourself is the way to conquer suffering, find enlightenment, and begin to transform the world for the better.

Once I escaped the abusive situation I was mired in for almost four decades, the first epiphany I had was about the importance of taking care of myself. I finally understood I was worth the effort, and the best thing I could do for my wellbeing was to take care of myself in all of the ways I’d felt others had failed me. It’s not up to others to make us feel okay—that’s up to us. We define our reality. We define who we present to the rest of the world, and who we are when we’re alone with ourselves. We control our health choices. We control how much we accept ourselves. We control our thought patterns.

Maybe some people in my family didn’t want me to be happy with who I was, but I wanted to be happy with who I was. Maybe they wanted me to feel bad about my personality, or the way I looked, or talked, or all the things that made me who I was, but I could rise above all of that through self-acceptance, self-care, and self-love.

No matter what outside forces in your life get you down, YOU control the love you have for yourself. Don’t let anyone else poison your self-love. Recognize how incredible you are. Care for your own needs—the obvious and the most private ones. Combat your suffering with the most powerful thing in existence: Love.

Emotional Love

This means feeling your feelings in the moment rather than suppressing them, so that we can more quickly move through things like grief and anger. When we deny ourselves the ability to face what we feel at the deepest levels, we tie our soul up in knots. Then we carry those knots with us. They cause us pain and remain until we untie them and process our truths. All challenges we face in life are intentional. They each bring lessons. We cannot escape our lessons. They will linger or reappear in our path until we find the courage to pay attention to them.

If something is really pissing you off, stop and take a closer look. Figure out WHY it’s pissing you off, underneath how it may appear on the surface. What is the underlying issue? If something is causing you grief, like the loss of a loved one, you will move more quickly through pain into peace so by embracing the waves of sadness when they crash into you.

Try seeing the things that upset you as gifts, enabling you to pinpoint things to work on in yourself. If you accept these challenges as they happen, you will discover yourself stronger than you think, capable of doing more than you expect. If you dodge and avoid your problems, they will haunt you like ghosts, never giving you real peace until their secrets are unearthed.

We waste too much energy worrying about how others perceive us, and spend not nearly enough on independently taking care of our own needs.

Practical Love

No one knows what you need better than you do. Pay attention to what is required to take care of yourself. Do you need more rest? Healthier food? Less stress at work? A different morning routine? A break from an irksome friend or family member? Permission to indulge in a passion or hobby? A visit to the doctor?

Don’t expect others to magically know how to take perfect care of you. You need to learn to do the job for yourself. If each of us really took proper care of our needs, the world would be a much happier place to live. In truth, healing ourselves and learning what it means to love (ourselves first), is the true meaning of life. It’s what we’re here to do—learn to better love ourselves and each other.

Don’t underestimate the importance of making kinder practical choices when it comes to your wellbeing. Choose to give yourself a break. Find new ways to make your life easier. Scrutinize your daily choices for ways habit is getting in the way of contentment. You can try new things if they might make things easier on you. I’m well aware of the mental traps we set for ourselves, thinking we HAVE to do something a certain way. That we HAVE to tolerate discomfort, toxicity, negativity, or abuse. This is wrong! You always have the ability to choose to stop tolerating anything that causes you pain.

Yes, we each have our responsibilities. Yes, you can reorganize them at any given moment. Make yourself more of a priority in small practical ways. Do the little things that will bring more joy and comfort to your daily life. Make conscious choices to pursue bigger goals that will make things better. When we set an intention, the universe feels it and responds in kind. Intend to love, and to be happy.  

Spiritual Love

At the heart of it all is your soul, and your relationship with it. We’re not usually told this in the normal course of life in this day and age. It’s too common to go through decades of life—in the institutions of childhood, school, work, adulthood, without ever being encouraged by the outside world to pay attention to your inner life. What a tragedy this is! Religion is the closest most of us get, but it tends to wield guilt (fear) as a way to control and subjugate, rather than motivate us to recognize our own eternal power.

This life, this very moment—it’s all about your soul. Everything is. Behind all fear is truth, and the truth is love. We are made of this love. Consciousness is love, and consciousness shapes our whole universe. Within our bodies, within our minds and hearts, our souls sit in stillness—untouched by the emotional tides and struggles of each moment. Try it. Let everything fall away. Quiet your mind. Breathe. There, in the silence, is the peace that defines your soul. It’s the false distractions of the material world that blind us to this reality. You can work to clear away the distractions. Practices like meditation help us purge “thought noise”. Look within your being every day, peering constantly deeper, and this will do a better job than anything else at revealing what really matters, who you really are, and what your purpose is.

Once you see how crucial it is to understand your soul is the true reality, and everything else is temporary, you’ll be amazed at how many people in this world go through their days blind and lost. How can we begin to know what the heck we’re doing without first knowing who we are? Do YOU know who you are? You’re not your labels. You’re not your body, or age, or status, or bank account. In the peace of your heart, behind thought and emotion, you are the silent Watcher. You are a vibration. A light. You’re a portal through which the universe studies itself.

Find a quiet space alone, away from gadgets and distraction, and spend time with yourself. Go for a walk in nature. Listen to music and clear your mind. Dance. Write a journal. This is the most important work you can possibly do. It’s the way to self-acceptance. It enables your guides to reach you and keep you on your best path. It reveals all the ways the universe signals to you in every moment that it sees you, hears you, understands you, LOVES you. You can choose to block it out, or you can open your heart and discover the wonder of existence.

Physical Love

This isn’t about sex, though that is one way to satisfy some types of physical need. It’s our responsibility to take care of our bodies as best we can. None of us are perfect, and we’re not meant to be. We’re in the bodies we selected before beginning this incarnation as the best vehicles to learn our particular lessons for this lifetime. You can make things easier in many ways by taking proper care of your physical needs. That means rest, healthy food, exercise, hygiene, medical and mental care.

This is the only body you get for the remainder of this life. It’s up to you to care for it. You can give it fuel filled with nutrients, or you can fuel it with junk and poison. You can do what you can to stay physically fit, or you can tax your system with extra, unneeded stress. You can choose to rest when tired, or you can work yourself to exhaustion. These choices are up to you, but if you want to love yourself, the better paths become clearer. Choosing to sabotage our own health always has consequences. Unhealthy choices will shorten your life, bringing discomfort or agony that could have been avoided. By taking proper care of yourself, you’re gifting yourself with an easier experience as you age.

Don’t stand in your own way. Don’t let fear cause you unneeded suffering. Choose to really love yourself, in all the ways you can.

Love and blessings, friends.

This is a big one for me. It’s a skill that can get you through any trial you may face. I debated on the title to this post, because it’s tricky to classify this, but it’s one of the basics in understanding who we truly are. 

We are not our possessions, nor our thoughts, or our fears, or any other traditional definition of identity. Who we are is the watcher behind our surface-level awareness, the being within who notices everything happening, living simultaneously in a state of constant alertness and eternal contentment.

Attempt to become aware of your thoughts, and the sensory input from your eyes, ears, nose, and skin. Now try to pinpoint your emotions and where your reactions stem from. Notice these are all on certain outer levels of our being, and behind those is the watcher within.

The watcher stares out through your eyes. It reaches through all of your senses. It stays nestled in the core of our bodies. The watcher observes, but does so from a place of total peace and acceptance. Peal back the layers that disguise it. One of the biggest things you can do for your own mental, emotional, and spiritual health, is to become aware of the difference of where your surface-level reactions come from, and the deeper place where your watcher sits.

Our soul—a fragment of our Higher Self (the bulk of which remains anchored on the Other Side), and the true, undiluted part of what makes us who we are—is found within this watcher. We are NOT our sensory and fearful reactions to things. We are the being beyond them, noticing them, recording data. The more you are able to identify the place where your watcher exists, and tap into that place at will, the more you will become aware of truth.

Your soul—the watcher within—does not worry. Ever. Even in dire circumstances. It does not fear or obsess. It only stays alert and absorbs all that is around us. Sometimes it communicates, but only through our intuition or the quiet, insistent voice of gut compulsion. This is why in life or death circumstances, thought falls away and we can react more quickly than seems possible—with confidence, intelligence, and surprising strength. That’s your soul stepping forward and taking the wheel, if only for a brief moment.

A great benefit of becoming aware of this true facet of who you are is that it can show you at any given moment that everything is okay. Your soul is not influenced by the news, or our daily frets, or even the greatest challenges we face. It remains steady and sure. It lives solely in the present moment. For it, future and past are inconsequential. It’s anchored in calm love.

Any time I’m unsure of things happening around me or in my life, I tap into this place and soak in the reassurance it provides. It’s our inner compass pointing us to what really matters. It guides us, always, away from our fear.

Even when we’re not lost in fear’s fog, but only the mist of indecision, the clarity of our watcher can provide direction. And it’s always there. It’s what’s left when all nonsense is wiped away. It’s our constant touchstone through every experience—great and small.

The more you embrace a spiritual awakening, the more you will become this part of yourself. You’ll fall more easily and naturally into a near-meditative state of readiness and simmering joy. Challenges will reveal themselves as fleeting nuisances they are, and you’ll more easily recognize the eternal tranquility from which all of nature springs. You’ll see why animals and plants radiate a type of steadiness humans rarely find.

Seek out this part of you. Embrace it. Live there more often, as long as you can. It’ll bring more happiness to your days than you can possibly imagine.

Love and blessings, friends.

As I grew up, I had a lot of anger over what I perceived as a massive lack of fairness in the world. From a deep level in my being, I needed there to be a cosmic system of accountability, where good people were recognized for their goodness, and bad people faced consequences (because it was obvious human law enforcement weren’t exactly doing the whole job, to say the least). My frustration whenever I saw bad people getting away with lots of awful things only intensified as I got older.

For me, this stemmed from my abusive childhood, and seeing my abusers get away with whatever they wanted because they were white, and had money, and bullied their way to powerful positions. In fact, everyone around me believed them and not me, so as far as I could tell, they continued on utterly without consequence for treating me terribly.

And then I began to learn about karma.

I find reading about karma, theories on karma, ideas on how it works, etc., to be profoundly soothing. I highly recommend this activity! My current understanding of karma is as follows:

This is a self-running system that balances forces in the universe. It is not controlled by a judgmental “god”. It polices itself without any need for interference. It pays attention to every thought, word, intention, and action you produce, and you accrue either good karma or bad karma accordingly. Bad karma cannot be escaped. It can take more than one lifetime—or hundreds, or thousands, etc.—to correct your balance and pay off all of your bad karma. This is why when we see bad people doing bad things, their consequences are not always noticeable. Have no fear—karma plays the long game.

The process works like this:

1. We do bad stuff
2. We experience bad stuff happening to us
3. (If we experience our suffering with grace and a loving heart)… Freedom!

Did you notice that condition in there on step 3? It’s important. None of us are perfect. When we just started off living as a humans, during our very first lives, we were kind of a mess. We made lots of mistakes. Then we learned from them. Then we made more mistakes. It’s a process. Now, you’re facing the consequences of your earlier actions, made before this life started. (And you’re probably still making some mistakes. That’s okay!) But the key here, to the whole “life” thing, is to accept what’s given to us with humility, and a willingness to learn from it and do better somehow.

No matter what you may be going through, ideally you want to get through it without incurring more bad karma. If someone robs you, and you go around screaming at the people trying to help you at how unfair it is that you got robbed, you’re going to get bad karma even though you were technically the victim. Suffering is not a justification to act like a jerk.

Repeating that one again, because it’s a big one: Suffering is not a justification to act like a jerk.

We are always responsible for our actions. We are always living under the watchful eye of karma. Even if you think no one sees what you’re doing, trust me, karma sees. Imagine how different the world would be if everyone understood they’re going to be held accountable for everything they do, even the things they did without “getting caught”. Even the things they think were justified.

The only way to climb out of the karma debt you find yourself in is to make better choices. Listen to your conscience, your gut feelings about what the right thing to do is, and then do them. I’ve faced some horrific moments in my life. When I faced them with a mindset of “okay, this is a nightmare, but it’s temporary and if I just do my best, and try to do the right thing here”, I was always astonished at how things seemed to fall quickly into place. My pain eased faster. Solutions appeared quicker. Peace came sooner.

The universe doesn’t want us to suffer. It wants us to learn and do better. It will support you if this is your goal. You will literally feel the support, love, and guidance coming your way, even if you are alone in your efforts.

In that 3-step process outlined about, you want to be in step 2. If bad things are happening to you, it’s a good thing! It means you’re being given chances to pay off your karmic debt and move closer to step 3—freedom. Our freedom doesn’t come in this world. Freedom means you won’t need to incarnate here on Earth again. You get to progress on to somewhere else—somewhere suffering doesn’t exist. 

Yes, I know it’s awful to be stuck in step 2. But resist the any urges to rebel against the pain in ways that will send you back to step 1.

This is an unpopular opinion, but I do believe that everything happens to us for a reason—even things like abuse. I believe we have a say in what our life will be like before it begins, and we plan the things we will face during it, and we agree to go through it with the intention of trying to grow from the experience. Everything we face is something we agreed to face. No one else forced it upon us. We just don’t remember the agreement right now (well, it would spoil the surprise, right?) I believe nothing happens TO us unfairly. Nothing. Every experience helps us balance our karma, and helps us to grow into stronger, wiser souls. Like I said, we have all made mistakes along the way in previous lives. And everyone (on the other side, at least, when we do not have an ego to protect, or experience fear) wants to balance their karma.

People who die young knew they were going to die young. They signed up for it in advance. People who go through unimaginable tragedy do not do so accidentally (read the books Journey of Souls, Destiny of Souls, and Memories of the Afterlife by Michael Newton, Ph.D. for details accounts of his patients undergoing hypnotic regression for stories to support this, including reports of the advanced souls who volunteered to experience the concentration camps during the Holocaust in order to assist the rest of the world in learning from what they endured).

Your tragedies are not unnoticed. They are not the product of a chaotic and cruel world. If you let them, they are your chance to break free of the cycle of life after life. Embrace them and be transformed.

It does bring me peace to know everything I’ve ever suffered was seen, that every time I tried to do the right thing no matter what, it was noticed and made a difference. When I look at the news, it gives me hope and peace of mind to understand that those who act with brazen cruelty can never, ever escape the consequences speeding their way, even if it takes them all of eternity to right their wrongs. Race, privilege, gender, money—karma doesn’t care. Karma doesn’t hear excuses. All karma understands is balance. It’s how everything in our world runs. When a pendulum swings wildly in one direction, it will always swing back.

So be brave, believe in yourself, and have faith in the intention and wisdom of our loving, conscious universe. Love and blessings, friends.

The existence of reincarnation meshes beautifully with what we know about science and the workings of our world. Everything in nature exists in a cycle of recreation and rebirth—the seasons, the lunar cycle, the life cycle of plants, the way forces of destruction in weather help nature re-emerge healthier and stronger. The Law of Conservation of Matter and the Law of Conservation of Energy state that neither matter nor energy can be created or destroyed. They merely change form. And as humans, are we not matter and energy, both? Logic dictates we also cannot be destroyed. We merely change form and come back to repeat the cycle.

I ask you to consider, if you haven’t done so before, the implications of the existence of reincarnation. So much could improve in our lives and our world if we did.

No More Pressure to Make Your Mark Through “Stuff”

Think of how common it is to feel pressured to have your life reflect some great impact on the world through materialism and pride. How many decisions are made through fear, under the assumption that if we don’t do something to be remembered by, it’s all for nothing? The race to accumulate wealth or fame, the importance placed on accruing and showing off property, and the yearning to achieve impressive titles in a career all stem from this misguided notion that our lives are meaningless without this amassment of stuff left in our wake.

But if you’ve been here, on this planet, dozens or hundreds of times, what is the point of falling madly over yourself to gather a new collection of stuff? You can’t take it with you. You don’t need to be remembered for superficial reasons. Your stuff impresses nobody (it’s your behavior they’re really paying attention to). You’ve been here lots of times and you’ll be back plenty more. What really counts—the only thing that counts—is how you make people feel. Let go of your stuff and look for the bigger picture. It will always be much easier to focus on kindness and compassion than it is to get rich and famous.

No More Pressure to Live the Perfect Life

In our culture, we’re encouraged to have a storybook view of our lives and our goals. We’re pressured to have the perfect friends, perfect family, perfect spouse, perfect home, perfect kids, perfect job, with no mistakes or embarrassments along the way. We “only live once” so we’re expected to do everything impeccably.

Do I need to point out how unrealistic that is? How foolish?

We’re not here to live perfect lives. We’re here to mess up and fail. We’re here to face our weaknesses and see if we can do better. We’re here to learn. We will always learn more from failure, by reaching for something that seems impossible, falling short, and finding the courage to try again. Failure means you tried. It shows you who you are and how to find your strength.

No one lives the perfect life, and even if you did, you’re going to be coming back again anyway to start all over again. You get endless do-overs. Think about that for a moment. Any wish, any dream, is possible because you’re given as many chances to try for them as you want.

Take the pressure off of yourself to do it all in less than a hundred years. Relax. Give yourself a break. You’re an immortal energy being. You’re not exactly pressed for time.

Honoring Nature Helps Everyone

How many people right now don’t believe in climate change? How many think climate change is possible but it’s too late to do any good, so why bother changing bad habits? How drastically might their opinions change if we could prove to them they’re still going to come back through reincarnation, and will have to live with all of the consequences of irresponsible behaviors?

Think of it this way: if something in your house catches fire, do you try to put it out, or do you start splashing gasoline on the walls to hurry it along? Do you ask for the fire company’s help, or do you lie down in the flames and give up?

If we live with the knowledge that this planet is ours to safeguard, and will continue to be our home beyond this singular life, we further the health and happiness of everyone. If we make our choices in the interest of self-care, care of others, and protecting what will continue to be ours, everyone wins. It’s not hard. It just takes some common sense. Respect yourself by respecting the planet.

You Never Lose Anyone You Love

Grief is a great crusher of happiness, but a lot of the time it’s because we don’t allow ourselves to believe we will see our loved ones again. With the promise of an afterlife and reincarnation, we never lose anyone we love. We tend to incarnate with our soul group (primary and secondary – or small close circle and a larger group of acquaintances). This means we live multiple lives with the same souls, changing up our roles but supporting each other in different ways. It’s why certain people feel so strangely familiar, beyond the boundaries of how long you’ve actually known them in the course of your life.

Love is energy, and our love for each other exists as a real connection that stretches beyond the physical. When someone you love dies, they are still with you in very real ways. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they can’t see you. You will be with them again. You can live multiple future lives together if you want, or just be content with their friendship in the afterlife.

Fear is a liar. It’s fear and ignorance that whisper to you that those you love are gone forever. Shut out your fear, and look instead to your heart. Listen to what your instincts tell you instead. They’re much more trustworthy.

What You’re Left With

When you strip away these false assumptions about what life should be, you’re left with the truth. This present moment and whatever it brings you are all that matter. Keeping an open heart, loving yourself and everyone you encounter, are all that matter. There is no pressure. There is time. There are infinite possibilities. And the only one in charge of it all, is you.

Play the long game. Aim beyond the horizon. Extend your plans to the limits of your imagination. Treasure life in all its forms and see that it’s not going anywhere without you.

Love and blessings, friends.

Here it is: You’re not here to save the world, you’re here to save yourself. Make this your mantra and repeat as needed.

This is a trap I’ve fallen into over and over again, so I know how it goes. Worrying that you’re not fulfilling some cosmic mission, or that you’re just not doing “enough”, is a trap set by fear and ego. The truth, beautiful in its simplicity, is that you were born with all of the tools you need to succeed in this life. Every person you meet, every situation you find yourself in, every challenge faced—no matter how small—is a deliberate part of your purpose.

But it can’t be that easy, can it?

Of course it is!

We humans are excellent at complicating things unnecessarily. We overthink. We fixate. All of that is noise created by the mind, by fear and ego. The mind/personality/ego wants us to misdefine what makes us who we are. It wants us to believe that attention, accomplishments, wealth, or power determine identity and our measure of success. These are all lies. You can live alone in the woods, never encounter another soul, and fulfill your purpose. You can live in abject poverty and create a life of which to be hugely proud. You can have influence over no one and become an amazing person in your own right.

Our worth comes from within. We’re born with it. We never lose it. We don’t need to prove it to anyone. We only need to believe it ourselves.

Worth does not come from stuff, or a completed To Do list. It comes from your soul, your kindness and compassion—to yourself as well as others.

Our own minds lie to us, telling us to be afraid we’re not doing what we’re supposed to be doing. We suspect we’re not measuring up to some imaginary chart.

The truth is that we come here to Earth to heal specific parts of our soul. We are born into these bodies with a specifically limited portion of our energy in order to be forced to focus on certain traits, and to resolve portions of our karma. Your purpose is simply to live as you are—exactly as you are—as best you can, with love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Your only duty is to try to exist fully in the present moment, taking life one moment at a time, and face each one directly. Be good to those around you. Try your best. Learn from your mistakes as often as you can. If your heart has a fervent, secret dream, follow it.

If it helps, think of yourself as a pre-programmed piece of software, with pre-determined missions set out in front of you. Nothing is a mistake. Everything is intentional. I often like to think of life as one giant video game where you can’t pause the game, and can’t quit until you reach the end without losing all of your progress thus far, being forced to start back at the beginning again in your next life. What this means is that you don’t have to “try” to play the game—you’re already doing it. You don’t need to “find” your purpose—you’re already immersed in it. Your purpose will find you. You actually can’t escape it. So, relax! Give yourself a break. Seriously.

If you feel pulled by your gut to do a certain thing, go for it! If you find yourself stuck in certain patterns, going around and around without escape—pay attention to it! There’s a solution right in front of you, waiting for you to see it. You just have to face your fears and find the courage to try something new.

The trick to all of this is that there is no trick. The only person standing in your way is you. You can choose—every single day—to make things easier on yourself, or to make things harder. We tend to stick to the familiar, but the familiar may not be doing you any favors. To follow a path involves taking forward steps. You need to try going places you haven’t gone before.

I spent 37 years of my life avoiding standing up for myself because I’d been telling myself it would mess everything up. It was the voice of fear, and I paid for listening to it by getting stuck in a miserable situation. The same people kept hurting me in the same ways, but at an increasing rate until I reached a breaking point. At that breaking point, the fear of making a different choice was suddenly much less than the pain of continuing on with things as they had been. And you know what happened when I finally stood up for myself? It kept being scary for a short while, because everything was changing so fast. And then… everything started to fall into place. Things that hadn’t made sense my whole life finally did. All of my pain vanished. Everything became clear. I gained perspective. I learned so much. I became stronger. Everything I’d hated about my life was gone. I was left with only the good, and so much possibility waiting ahead of me.

Please, learn from my mistake. Make a different choice earlier. Spare yourself the pain. You can. You can gift yourself that, if you are brave enough to try.  You can live this life being your own worst enemy, or you can be your own hero. No one else can decide how things turn out, but you.

The universe is patient. It is kind. If you’re not ready, it will stick by you and keep offering you opportunities to make a different choice. It will never give up on you. But pain isn’t necessary for growth. It’s just not. We cause our own suffering when we resist what is. I promise you, what is, is not bad. There is nothing to be afraid of. Use suffering when it finds you as a tool. See it as a signpost, pointing the way. Listen to it saying “pay attention to THIS”. That signpost is there for a reason. It’s there for YOU. Trust it’s there for a reason, that before you were even born you set these tasks in your own path for reasons that won’t likely become clear to you until this is all over.

I have also wasted a lot of energy being upset about the idea of justice. Whenever things didn’t seem fair, it infuriated me. Have you felt the same way?

The solution is to try and understand karma. We carry karma with us from life to life. The universe seeks balance in all things. When the pendulum swings one way, it must always swing back. A homeless man on the street is not a victim of a cruel world if he chose that life to balance his karma from a previous life spent a slave to greed and pride. We aren’t equipped to see the bigger picture, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. All you need to do is trust the ride and accept what you have been given. There is purpose behind it.

Your challenges, no matter what they might be, are your gifts. Have faith in them. Clear the hurdles set directly in front of you and don’t worry about what’s waiting up ahead. The deliberateness of the universe is a glorious thing. It’s woven with love and understanding. If you can find a way to appreciate exactly where you are, right here, today, then the itch to be somewhere “better” will fade.

Love and blessings, friends.

There are four groups of people who agree on what happens when you die:

• children who remember past lives
• those who’ve experienced a Near Death Experience (NDE)
• people who’ve had an out-of-body experience
• mediums

I’ve had personal experience with 3 out of the 4 things on that list. Of course, anything involving the afterlife requires a measure of faith. It’s not as if you can bring back a souvenir after you visit. Either you’ve had a personal experience to help boost your belief, or you have to take the word of those who have.

The most detailed study of children with past life memories comes from psychiatrist Ian Stevenson at the University of Virginia, with more than 2,500 case studies. This phenomena can be found all over the globe, but is most commonly found in places like India where the culture widely supports the concept of reincarnation. This helps parents feel comfortable to share their experiences with their children, quelling fear of ridicule. There’s someone in my immediate family who spoke both vividly and specifically of memories of war when they were only a few years old. There are several books available that deal with the study of these children and their stories, which I encourage you to read.

An excellent resource for reading personal accounts of near death experiences is the Near-Death Experience Research Foundation, or NDERF.org. They keep browsable archives of individual accounts on their website. What’s most astonishing about these records are the similarities.

My personal experience also agrees with the following qualities of a visit to  the afterlife: 

• journey through a tunnel or passageway
• movement toward bright, colorful light that is welcoming and doesn’t hurt the eyes
• encounter with a loved one
• experience with telepathic communication
• encountering a boundary which you can’t cross without officially dying
• experiencing emotion so powerful it’s impossible to put into words, though suggestions like ecstatic bliss and perfect love may give you an idea

I’ve also studied mediums, and though there are charlatans only interested in feeding on the grief of others to make money, there are convincing mediums to be found. I’ve read, seen, and experienced countless accounts of readings during which unknowable details are conveyed by the deceased to their living loved ones.

Taken individually, all of these subgroups are fascinating in their own right, but the sum total of what they imply is even more wondrous. It’s shocking that it’s not more widely discussed, given all it implies for every single one of us. I strongly encourage my readers to explore these records on their own, but know this:

We come from a loving place that is our true home. While here on Earth, we’re surrounded by the loving support of those on the other side, who never leave our side and will never fail us. Communication with them is not only possible, but likely if you are able to open your heart and mind. And when we die, we’re not ending but passing through a doorway on a journey back to where we belong. We leave fear and the amnesia that comes with physical life behind. No longer are we confined to the narrow space of a body, but can expand our awareness to the size of all of existence if we so choose. We are immortal. We are forever connected to an endless, stunning force of love that never judges but always encourages growth and forward movement. Nothing there is static or boring. The most soothing peace lifts us out of the weight of physical life.

In my opinion, one of the best proofs of the afterlife is your own gut feelings. Read some of the detailed descriptions out there waiting to be found and listen to your own internal reaction to them. Do they feel true? Is there something eerily familiar about them? Do they bring a sense of comfort?

If you stumble over a moment of doubt, dig deeper. I’ve heard people discredit the notion of the afterlife simply because of things like the commonality of the recently deceased to have an encounter with Jesus, Buddha, or other famous religious figures. Deepak Chopra discusses the explanation for this in detail in his book, Life After Death: The Burden of Proof.

As he explains, there is a collective unconscious that we all tap into. It’s why people all over the globe will simultaneously have the same inspired idea. There have been hundreds of occurrences of people applying for patents for an invention at the same time. The same happens with pitches for books or movies, because our ideas are all pulled from the same ether. When a new concept is meant to birth itself into our world, it comes through wherever it can, and not just through a single mind.

When we die, we experience the afterlife we’ve been conditioned to expect by the cultures in which we live. We pull a familiar interpretation of the afterlife from the collective unconscious and experience something accordingly. Despite unfailing similarities like moving towards the light and being met by loved ones, afterlife accounts all tend to have unique styles or flavors. What you find when you cross over is tailored to your current evolutionary state as a soul, your karma, your expectations, and what both you and your guides determine is what is appropriate just for you.

People “meet” Jesus or Buddha during an NDE because part of them expects to. This doesn’t mean they’re actually meeting Jesus and Buddha, but they are meeting a loving higher being who projects that comforting image to welcome them and help ease the transition of their arrival.

I’ve also read an account of a pastor who spent his life intentionally scaring his parishioners with threats of Satan, only to encounter the “devil” himself as he crossed over during an NDE. After the initial rough shock, the pastor’s guide let the gruesome projected image dissolve to reveal himself and the rest of the man’s awaiting loved ones waiting to welcome him. They’d thought he had a good scare coming to him after a lifetime’s obsession with such a negative creature.

No matter what might hold you back or inflame your doubt, as someone who’s both been blessed to bask in the love of the afterlife, and who has endured the passing of someone close to me, give yourself the gift of curiosity. The more you discover, the less fear you’ll carry with you, and the more free you’ll become to simply enjoy living while you’re still here to do it. I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything. The feelings it stirred in me, the impact it had on me—they’re indescribable and so much better than your wildest dreams. Though so very hard to capture with things as crude as words, please give these written accounts a read. They just might soothe something in your soul as well.

Have a blessed day, friends.